1
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<i>[Dick Tufeld]</i>
<i>From the Mark Taper Forum</i>

2
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<i>at the Music Center</i>
<i>in Los Angeles,</i>

3
00:00:06,868 --> 00:00:08,767
<i>welcome to... </i>

4
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<i>Arriving for our celebration</i>

5
00:00:28,267 --> 00:00:30,200
<i>are our viewers</i>
<i>from 48 states,</i>

6
00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:32,834
<i>flown to California</i>
<i>especially for this occasion</i>

7
00:00:32,834 --> 00:00:35,167
<i>as guests of</i> All in the Family.

8
00:00:35,167 --> 00:00:37,334
<i>Here are the Willings</i>
<i>from Monroe, Louisiana,</i>

9
00:00:37,334 --> 00:00:40,601
Teri and Glen Anderson
<i>from St. Paul, Minnesota...</i>

10
00:00:40,601 --> 00:00:43,167
<i>Lucille and James Dillon</i>
<i>from Natchez, Mississippi.</i>

11
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<i>Here are Abe and Roz Friedman</i>

12
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<i>from Asheville, North Carolina,</i>

13
00:00:47,267 --> 00:00:50,234
<i>Julie and John Meyer</i>
<i>from Milwaukee, Wisconsin.</i>

14
00:00:50,234 --> 00:00:52,567
<i>From Cincinnati, </i>
<i>Sue and Tim DeCoravan,</i>

15
00:00:52,567 --> 00:00:54,300
<i>and from New Orleans,</i>
<i>Louisiana,</i>

16
00:00:54,300 --> 00:00:56,133
<i>Mickey and Nora Brukus.</i>

17
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<i>Leonard and Wilma Jenkins--</i>
<i>Lakeview, Ohio.</i>

18
00:00:58,734 --> 00:01:00,167
<i>Steve and Vicky Hollinger--</i>

19
00:01:00,167 --> 00:01:01,400
<i>Sterling, Virginia.</i>

20
00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:02,934
<i>From Gap Mills, West Virginia,</i>

21
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<i>Les and Pat Honaker.</i>

22
00:01:04,234 --> 00:01:05,767
<i>From Terre Haute, Indiana,</i>

23
00:01:05,767 --> 00:01:08,067
<i>Charles and Helen Wood.</i>

24
00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:09,501
<i>Mr. and Mrs. Dennis Davis</i>

25
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<i>from Snake River, Idaho.</i>

26
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<i>From San Francisco,</i>

27
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<i>Pete and Marge Kezios.</i>

28
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<i>John and Evelyn Fosner,</i>
<i>Rock Springs, Wyoming.</i>

29
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<i>From Tampa, Florida,</i>
<i>Jess and Burt Fuller.</i>

30
00:01:19,801 --> 00:01:22,601
<i>From Spearfish, South Dakota,</i>
<i>Greg and Debbie Jainer.</i>

31
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<i>Clement and Dottie Canger</i>
<i>from Knoxville, Tennessee.</i>

32
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<i>Irene and Baron Grey</i>
<i>from Searcy, Arkansas.</i>

33
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<i>Mickey and Marsha Householder</i>

34
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<i>from Hedgesville,</i>
<i>West Virginia.</i>

35
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When you got the call
that said you won, what did you do?

36
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She screamed and hollered,
"Pat, you have to take a bath."

37
00:01:37,834 --> 00:01:39,501
I said, "I'm so happy."

38
00:01:39,501 --> 00:01:41,834
I thought this was a hoax.

39
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Seems to me like
we're having our honeymoon

40
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since we didn't have
our honeymoon,

41
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when we got married.

42
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Made some friends that I hope
we can correspond with

43
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for the rest of our lives.

44
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We will never forget this,
and, oh, boy.

45
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<i>Stay with us</i>
<i>as Norman Lear discusses</i>

46
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<i>one of television's</i>
<i>most honored, controversial,</i> and provocative shows,

47
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<i>with your friends</i>
<i>and neighbors,</i>

48
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<i>our guests</i>
<i>from across the nation,</i>

49
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<i>featuring choice moments</i>
<i>from 200 episodes</i>

50
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<i>of</i> All in the Family.

51
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* Didn't need
no welfare state *

52
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* Everybody
pulled his weight *

53
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* Gee, our old LaSalle
ran great *

54
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* Those were the days *

55
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[applause]

56
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<i>And now here is your host</i>
<i>for the evening,</i>

57
00:02:32,701 --> 00:02:34,701
<i>the creator</i>
<i>of</i> All in the Family--

58
00:02:34,701 --> 00:02:36,501
<i>Norman Lear.</i>

59
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[applause]

60
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Thank you.

61
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Thank you.
Good evening.

62
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Good evening and welcome

63
00:02:56,667 --> 00:02:58,868
to our 200th Birthday
Celebration

64
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of <i>All in the Family.</i>

65
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There's an ancient Greek
definition of happiness.

66
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It goes,
"Happiness is the exercise of your vital abilities

67
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"along lines of excellence

68
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in a life
that affords them scope."

69
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Tonight I represent 60 or more
very happy people--

70
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writers, producers,
actors, directors,

71
00:03:17,834 --> 00:03:19,234
staff, and crew,

72
00:03:19,234 --> 00:03:22,767
who since our debut
in January, 1971

73
00:03:22,767 --> 00:03:25,434
have been exercising
their vital abilities

74
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communicating with you,

75
00:03:27,067 --> 00:03:28,634
reaching further and further

76
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to touch your funny bone,

77
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your emotions,

78
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not always succeeding,

79
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but reaching,

80
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in a world that afforded us
the scope.

81
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Now, you viewers provided us

82
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with that world, that scope,

83
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because <i>All in the Family</i>
was anything but a success

84
00:03:44,834 --> 00:03:46,400
when it began,

85
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,534
but 15 weeks into our run,

86
00:03:48,534 --> 00:03:50,067
you discovered it,

87
00:03:50,067 --> 00:03:52,667
and you are the reason
we're here tonight.

88
00:03:52,667 --> 00:03:53,934
We'd like to have invited

89
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:55,767
all 50 or 60 million of you

90
00:03:55,767 --> 00:03:57,434
to share this moment with us,

91
00:03:57,434 --> 00:03:59,734
but the Bonaventure Hotel
in Los Angeles

92
00:03:59,734 --> 00:04:03,100
was a little uptight
about taking that many reservations.

93
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So what we did instead

94
00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:06,801
was to invite 100 couples,

95
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and there they are,

96
00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:11,801
from 48 states in the nation.

97
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They flew here from Tennessee

98
00:04:13,667 --> 00:04:16,000
and Iowa and Maine
and Florida,

99
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,400
from Kentucky and Arizona,

100
00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:19,501
Colorado and New York.

101
00:04:19,501 --> 00:04:22,300
The other half
of the giant collaboration

102
00:04:22,300 --> 00:04:24,133
known as <i>All in the Family--</i>

103
00:04:24,133 --> 00:04:25,400
our audience.

104
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:26,667
[applause]

105
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No, no, I'm applauding you.

106
00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:39,167
I-- I really just wanted
to applaud you.

107
00:04:39,167 --> 00:04:42,133
Behind me, as I conclude
this very sentence,

108
00:04:42,133 --> 00:04:45,033
you will see Archie
and Edith in bed

109
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There they are,

110
00:04:46,300 --> 00:04:48,501
Archie and Edith in bed,

111
00:04:48,501 --> 00:04:50,234
not a big deal, granted,

112
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but married folk,
even a handful of unmarried folk

113
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have been sleeping together
since the dawn of time.

114
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Before January, 1971,

115
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television comedy
didn't reflect that fact.

116
00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:05,767
Anyway, as we mulled
over 200 episodes,

117
00:05:05,767 --> 00:05:09,133
there were a thousand ways
to begin to discuss them.

118
00:05:09,133 --> 00:05:11,100
We settled for the simplest--

119
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Archie and Edith in one
of our very favorite scenes.

120
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- Mmmmm...
- There, all right, Edith.

121
00:05:16,634 --> 00:05:19,000
There, uh-- uh, Edith,

122
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,667
Edith, Edith, Edith,

123
00:05:20,667 --> 00:05:24,534
you know, it's been
a long kind of nervous day.

124
00:05:24,534 --> 00:05:25,968
You know what I mean?

125
00:05:25,968 --> 00:05:29,100
So what do you say we just,
you know--

126
00:05:29,100 --> 00:05:31,701
I'll put the paper down,

127
00:05:31,701 --> 00:05:33,934
and then you
just go over there,

128
00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:37,734
way over there.

129
00:05:37,734 --> 00:05:40,367
We'll just go sleepy bye, huh?

130
00:05:40,367 --> 00:05:41,701
But remember,

131
00:05:41,701 --> 00:05:43,767
whatever happens,

132
00:05:43,767 --> 00:05:45,567
I love you.

133
00:05:45,567 --> 00:05:48,267
I love you, Edith.

134
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Truly.

135
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Thank you.
Thank you.

136
00:05:58,834 --> 00:06:03,634
[Edith]
* I love you truly *

137
00:06:03,634 --> 00:06:07,300
* Truly dear *

138
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:10,701
* Life with its sorrow *

139
00:06:10,701 --> 00:06:14,467
* Life with its tear *

140
00:06:14,467 --> 00:06:18,234
* Fades into dreams *

141
00:06:18,234 --> 00:06:23,400
* When I know you're near *

142
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:27,767
- * For I love you truly *
- Hold it, hold it, geez.

143
00:06:27,767 --> 00:06:29,801
* Truly dear *

144
00:06:29,801 --> 00:06:31,133
[muttering]
Edit, joo, joo, joo, joo, joo,

145
00:06:31,133 --> 00:06:34,100
Edith, Edith,
come on, darling, listen.

146
00:06:34,100 --> 00:06:35,501
I know you're singing,

147
00:06:35,501 --> 00:06:37,200
and you know you're singing,

148
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:39,601
but the neighbors are liable
to think I'm torturing you.

149
00:06:39,601 --> 00:06:42,200
Oh, no.

150
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:44,467
Oh, you could never do that,
Archie.

151
00:06:44,467 --> 00:06:47,300
I know that.
Yeah, I know that.

152
00:06:59,734 --> 00:07:01,534
Uh--

153
00:07:01,534 --> 00:07:04,267
Uh, Edith, there...

154
00:07:04,267 --> 00:07:06,267
I'll tell you the truth,
Edith.

155
00:07:06,267 --> 00:07:09,901
I ain't myself, you know.

156
00:07:10,968 --> 00:07:13,501
What I mean is

157
00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:16,767
let's not start something
that I can't finish.

158
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Okay, Edith?
Okay?

159
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How thin the line is
between laughter and tears.

160
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We humans are fragile,
and we're foolish,

161
00:08:03,834 --> 00:08:05,467
so the humor
in life doesn't cease

162
00:08:05,467 --> 00:08:06,901
when we are suffering

163
00:08:06,901 --> 00:08:08,868
any more than it
stops being serious

164
00:08:08,868 --> 00:08:11,133
when we are laughing
the hardest.

165
00:08:11,133 --> 00:08:13,200
That's why,
from the very beginning,

166
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:16,033
<i>All in the Family</i> chose
to deal with human problems

167
00:08:16,033 --> 00:08:17,334
that concern us all.

168
00:08:18,834 --> 00:08:21,601
Ma, something's wrong.
I know you.

169
00:08:21,601 --> 00:08:23,968
Why does everybody around here

170
00:08:23,968 --> 00:08:25,701
think they know me?

171
00:08:25,701 --> 00:08:27,534
Remember, Gloria,

172
00:08:27,534 --> 00:08:30,634
deep waters run very still.

173
00:08:33,334 --> 00:08:34,501
But Ma--

174
00:08:34,501 --> 00:08:35,901
I've known me

175
00:08:35,901 --> 00:08:37,734
a lot longer than you have,

176
00:08:37,734 --> 00:08:40,601
so don't go around saying
you know me.

177
00:08:40,601 --> 00:08:41,968
Okay.

178
00:08:41,968 --> 00:08:45,067
Okay, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to upset you.

179
00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:47,767
I got a lump in my breast.

180
00:08:49,968 --> 00:08:51,234
What did you just say?

181
00:08:53,434 --> 00:08:56,701
- I got a lump in--
- Oh, Ma...

182
00:08:58,634 --> 00:09:02,100
That's the first time
I said it out loud.

183
00:09:03,367 --> 00:09:06,067
What was it
you wanted to ask me?

184
00:09:09,601 --> 00:09:13,901
I'm afraid,
if I have this operation,

185
00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:17,334
Archie won't think of me
in the same way.

186
00:09:17,334 --> 00:09:20,801
Oh, Edith,
stop scaring yourself.

187
00:09:20,801 --> 00:09:23,934
Archie loves you,
and nothing's going to change that.

188
00:09:23,934 --> 00:09:27,267
But I'm going to change a lot.

189
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:30,234
Listen, even if you
have to have the operation,

190
00:09:30,234 --> 00:09:32,200
it's still going to be
all right.

191
00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:33,667
Believe me.

192
00:09:33,667 --> 00:09:36,534
You don't know.

193
00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:38,767
That's just the point, Edith.
I do know.

194
00:09:39,934 --> 00:09:41,434
I know.

195
00:09:45,133 --> 00:09:47,801
You mean, you?

196
00:09:47,801 --> 00:09:49,501
Six years ago.

197
00:09:49,501 --> 00:09:51,968
And you see how Frank
and I get along?

198
00:09:51,968 --> 00:09:53,667
It hasn't made
one bit of difference

199
00:09:53,667 --> 00:09:56,167
in our marriage.

200
00:09:56,167 --> 00:09:57,701
Don't bother looking, Edith.

201
00:10:02,234 --> 00:10:03,400
I-- I wasn't.

202
00:10:07,334 --> 00:10:08,801
You're coming home
tomorrow morning?

203
00:10:08,801 --> 00:10:11,200
Yeah.

204
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:13,734
Edith, they told me
you had cancer.

205
00:10:13,734 --> 00:10:16,267
I thought I did, too, Archie,

206
00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:18,834
but it was just a little cyst,

207
00:10:18,834 --> 00:10:22,234
and the surgeon got rid of it
just like that.

208
00:10:22,234 --> 00:10:23,567
Oh.

209
00:10:25,534 --> 00:10:27,234
So what are you
laying here for?

210
00:10:31,167 --> 00:10:35,534
Well, when they told me
everything was all right,

211
00:10:35,534 --> 00:10:37,801
I got so excited,

212
00:10:37,801 --> 00:10:42,234
I jumped off
the examining table,

213
00:10:42,234 --> 00:10:44,234
and I broke my ankle.

214
00:10:51,934 --> 00:10:54,667
What are you going to do
to me?

215
00:10:54,667 --> 00:10:56,968
Just exactly what you think
I'm going to do to you.

216
00:10:56,968 --> 00:11:00,067
[gasps]
No, you wouldn't do that. No.

217
00:11:00,067 --> 00:11:01,367
- No, you wouldn't--
- Yeah, I will.

218
00:11:01,367 --> 00:11:02,934
[Edith screams]

219
00:11:02,934 --> 00:11:05,033
Hey, knock it off.
Knock it off.

220
00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:09,834
All right,
just stay quiet, okay?

221
00:11:12,467 --> 00:11:14,100
What are you going to do?

222
00:11:14,100 --> 00:11:18,767
You aren't taking off
your clothes, are you?

223
00:11:18,767 --> 00:11:21,467
Yeah. Then I'm going
to take yours off.

224
00:11:21,467 --> 00:11:24,067
Wouldn't you like
a cup of coffee instead?

225
00:11:26,567 --> 00:11:28,267
I don't drink coffee.

226
00:11:28,267 --> 00:11:31,834
I got Sanka.

227
00:11:31,834 --> 00:11:34,100
Lady, you're stalling,
and it ain't going to do you any good.

228
00:11:34,100 --> 00:11:35,367
Now, this is going to happen,

229
00:11:35,367 --> 00:11:37,634
so just relax, okay?

230
00:11:37,634 --> 00:11:39,534
Listen,
I gotta get out of here.

231
00:11:39,534 --> 00:11:40,567
See, I gotta get ready

232
00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:43,000
for my birthday party.

233
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:44,133
Happy birthday.

234
00:11:44,133 --> 00:11:45,267
[gasps]
Thank you.

235
00:11:46,934 --> 00:11:50,467
Couldn't we do this
without kissing?

236
00:11:52,634 --> 00:11:55,133
Yeah, yeah, okay,

237
00:11:55,133 --> 00:11:56,901
but you're going to change
your mind.

238
00:11:59,434 --> 00:12:02,434
Oh, there's something burning
in the kitchen.

239
00:12:02,434 --> 00:12:03,734
What is it?

240
00:12:03,734 --> 00:12:05,667
It's in the kitchen.

241
00:12:05,667 --> 00:12:07,734
All right, all right,
come on, come on, come on.

242
00:12:07,734 --> 00:12:10,167
There's something burning
in the kitchen.

243
00:12:10,167 --> 00:12:13,133
[screams, crying]
There's a fire.

244
00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:14,567
Fire! Oh!

245
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,701
My birthday cake!

246
00:12:16,701 --> 00:12:20,334
[crying]
My birthday cake burning!

247
00:12:20,334 --> 00:12:21,901
Lady, get rid of it.

248
00:12:21,901 --> 00:12:23,434
Get rid of it.

249
00:12:28,033 --> 00:12:30,033
[man grunts]

250
00:12:56,701 --> 00:13:00,067
Oh, yeah,
now I see what your idea of a free country is.

251
00:13:00,067 --> 00:13:01,434
You're free to say
anything you want,

252
00:13:01,434 --> 00:13:03,167
but if anyone disagrees
with you,

253
00:13:03,167 --> 00:13:05,400
they're either thrown
into jail or called a meathead, right?

254
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:08,767
That's right 'cause this is
America, land that I love.

255
00:13:08,767 --> 00:13:10,534
I love it, too, Mr. Bunker.

256
00:13:10,534 --> 00:13:12,834
It's because I do
that I protest when I think things are wrong.

257
00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:16,200
And stand beside her
and guide her--

258
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,534
The right to dissent
is the principle from which this country was based.

259
00:13:18,534 --> 00:13:20,767
...through the night
from above.

260
00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:22,200
Listen to me.
It's in the Bill of Rights.

261
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:23,767
From the mountains
to the prairies...

262
00:13:23,767 --> 00:13:26,667
Why do you think we
broke away from England to begin with?

263
00:13:26,667 --> 00:13:28,033
- Because we didn't agree
with them! - ...to the oceans...

264
00:13:28,033 --> 00:13:30,000
- We demanded freedom!
- ...white with foam.

265
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,968
It's guys like you--
It's guys like you who don't listen to reason.

266
00:13:31,968 --> 00:13:36,334
God bless America,
you dumb Polack.

267
00:13:36,334 --> 00:13:38,033
You're prejudiced!
You're prejudiced!

268
00:13:38,033 --> 00:13:40,033
- My home sweet home.
- [all yelling]

269
00:13:40,033 --> 00:13:41,434
Not anymore!
I'm leaving!

270
00:13:41,434 --> 00:13:45,801
- * God bless America *
- You're prejudiced!

271
00:13:45,801 --> 00:13:46,801
- Archie.
- Get away from me.

272
00:13:46,801 --> 00:13:49,400
* My home *

273
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:54,734
* Sweet home *

274
00:14:05,067 --> 00:14:06,300
Seven years ago,

275
00:14:06,300 --> 00:14:09,033
in September of 1972,

276
00:14:09,033 --> 00:14:10,934
the cover story of <i>Time</i> magazine

277
00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:13,033
showed a photograph
of Archie Bunker,

278
00:14:13,033 --> 00:14:15,267
Fred Sanford, and Maude,

279
00:14:15,267 --> 00:14:17,634
and the banner headline
above them read,

280
00:14:17,634 --> 00:14:19,267
"The New TV Season--

281
00:14:19,267 --> 00:14:21,400
Toppling Old Taboos."

282
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,868
Inside the article recalled
the time,

283
00:14:23,868 --> 00:14:25,534
not too many years before,

284
00:14:25,534 --> 00:14:28,133
when Jack Paar walked off
<i>The Tonight Show</i>

285
00:14:28,133 --> 00:14:31,367
because NBC
had edited out one line,

286
00:14:31,367 --> 00:14:34,267
a reference
to the initials W.C.,

287
00:14:34,267 --> 00:14:35,934
meaning "water closet,"

288
00:14:35,934 --> 00:14:38,534
the British expression
for toilet.

289
00:14:38,534 --> 00:14:39,834
- [laughter]
- They also recalled

290
00:14:39,834 --> 00:14:41,167
the time in 1968

291
00:14:41,167 --> 00:14:44,701
when Petula Clark momentarily
rested her white hand

292
00:14:44,701 --> 00:14:47,767
on the black arm
of guest star Harry Belafonte

293
00:14:47,767 --> 00:14:50,467
in a TV special
that they were doing,

294
00:14:50,467 --> 00:14:53,267
and a major automobile company
struggled for weeks

295
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:56,467
to have the moment cut
out of the broadcast.

296
00:14:56,467 --> 00:14:58,567
<i>Time</i> magazine went on to say,

297
00:14:58,567 --> 00:14:59,968
"That was the way it was

298
00:14:59,968 --> 00:15:02,033
"on network
entertainment shows.

299
00:15:02,033 --> 00:15:04,334
"Blacks were visible
but untouchable,

300
00:15:04,334 --> 00:15:07,100
"and bathrooms
simply did not exist.

301
00:15:07,100 --> 00:15:09,634
"By and large any subjects
were fair game

302
00:15:09,634 --> 00:15:11,434
"except those that bore

303
00:15:11,434 --> 00:15:13,934
on the reality
of viewer's lives,"

304
00:15:13,934 --> 00:15:15,601
end of quote.

305
00:15:15,601 --> 00:15:17,834
There's Archie and Mike.

306
00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:19,501
They argued about everything

307
00:15:19,501 --> 00:15:22,534
that bore on the reality
of their lives.

308
00:15:22,534 --> 00:15:24,367
A conservative
has been described

309
00:15:24,367 --> 00:15:27,000
as a man with
two perfectly good legs,

310
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:28,934
who has never learned
to walk forward--

311
00:15:28,934 --> 00:15:30,200
[laughter]

312
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:31,434
...and a liberal--

313
00:15:31,434 --> 00:15:32,667
a person whose interests

314
00:15:32,667 --> 00:15:35,400
don't happen to be at stake
at the moment.

315
00:15:36,667 --> 00:15:39,367
As Archie and Mike
debated the issues,

316
00:15:39,367 --> 00:15:41,567
we tried to keep
the political arguments

317
00:15:41,567 --> 00:15:44,133
as even handed
as those descriptions.

318
00:15:44,133 --> 00:15:46,434
We tried, but being human,

319
00:15:46,434 --> 00:15:49,067
we make no claim
to have totally succeeded.

320
00:15:51,067 --> 00:15:53,400
I still got faith in Nixon.

321
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:54,834
Which one?

322
00:15:54,834 --> 00:15:56,367
Whatta you mean, which one?

323
00:15:56,367 --> 00:15:58,667
- The Nixon who knew
why we should be in Vietnam? - Yes.

324
00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:00,334
The Nixon who knew
all the reasons

325
00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:02,634
- we had to be friends
with Russia and China? - Yes.

326
00:16:02,634 --> 00:16:04,100
The Nixon who knew
all the secret reasons

327
00:16:04,100 --> 00:16:06,334
- we had to keep bombing
Cambodia? - Yeah, damn right.

328
00:16:06,334 --> 00:16:08,734
The Nixon who didn't know
a single thing about Watergate?

329
00:16:08,734 --> 00:16:09,934
Watergate again!

330
00:16:12,267 --> 00:16:14,000
Archie, when are you gonna--
when are you gonna stop

331
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,467
with this commie jazz?

332
00:16:15,467 --> 00:16:16,901
It's all over, Arch.

333
00:16:16,901 --> 00:16:18,000
The Red Scare kaput.

334
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,634
Nixon's going to Peking,
remember?

335
00:16:19,634 --> 00:16:21,901
Hold it, buddy.
He ain't there yet.

336
00:16:23,067 --> 00:16:24,467
What's that supposed to mean?

337
00:16:24,467 --> 00:16:26,868
Five Presidents
have been warning us

338
00:16:26,868 --> 00:16:28,634
for the last 25 years

339
00:16:28,634 --> 00:16:30,534
against them Red chinks,

340
00:16:30,534 --> 00:16:32,334
and nobody's going to tell me

341
00:16:32,334 --> 00:16:34,434
that the signals is off now

342
00:16:34,434 --> 00:16:37,067
and a billion enemies
is now our friends.

343
00:16:37,067 --> 00:16:38,367
Oh, no, Mr. Nixon

344
00:16:38,367 --> 00:16:40,734
has got something
up the sleeve.

345
00:16:40,734 --> 00:16:42,133
Yeah, like recommending

346
00:16:42,133 --> 00:16:43,801
they be admitted to the U.N.

347
00:16:43,801 --> 00:16:45,734
Oh, that would be the day

348
00:16:45,734 --> 00:16:47,100
when this country sits down

349
00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:48,834
with a nation
of chink ping-pong players

350
00:16:48,834 --> 00:16:51,367
who don't believe in God.

351
00:16:51,367 --> 00:16:54,767
Those fireside chats
kept this country informed,

352
00:16:54,767 --> 00:16:57,801
and one "My friends"
from Roosevelt

353
00:16:57,801 --> 00:17:02,167
was worth a barrel
full of "Let me make this perfectly clears."

354
00:17:02,167 --> 00:17:04,067
Oh...

355
00:17:04,067 --> 00:17:06,467
now you're rapping
my President, huh?

356
00:17:06,467 --> 00:17:09,334
Well, let me
tell you one thing about Richard E. Nixon.

357
00:17:11,934 --> 00:17:15,167
He knows how to keep
his wife Pat home.

358
00:17:15,167 --> 00:17:18,067
Roosevelt could never do that
with Eleanor.

359
00:17:18,067 --> 00:17:21,000
She was always out
on the loose,

360
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:24,000
running around
with the coloreds,

361
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,801
telling them they was getting
the short end of the stick.

362
00:17:26,801 --> 00:17:28,968
She was the one
that discovered the coloreds in this country.

363
00:17:28,968 --> 00:17:30,334
We never knew they was there.

364
00:17:32,167 --> 00:17:34,300
Hey, don't blame
the college kids.

365
00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:36,234
Put the blame for unemployment
where it belongs,

366
00:17:36,234 --> 00:17:37,634
right at the White House door.

367
00:17:37,634 --> 00:17:40,334
Well, don't blame
President Ford, will you?

368
00:17:40,334 --> 00:17:41,634
The man's doing
a hell of a job

369
00:17:41,634 --> 00:17:43,534
for a guy nobody voted for.

370
00:17:46,100 --> 00:17:48,133
I hate that jerk on TV!

371
00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:49,567
Oh, I get it.
I get it.

372
00:17:49,567 --> 00:17:51,467
When you thought
he was talking about VD

373
00:17:51,467 --> 00:17:53,267
and a permissive society,
he was smart, huh?

374
00:17:53,267 --> 00:17:55,434
You find out he's talking
about gun control, he's a jerk?

375
00:17:55,434 --> 00:17:57,701
That's right,
and I'm going to prove it to you.

376
00:17:57,701 --> 00:17:59,934
How many people
in this U.S. of A. would like to have guns?

377
00:17:59,934 --> 00:18:01,234
Too many, thousands.

378
00:18:01,234 --> 00:18:04,400
But how many people
would like to have VD?

379
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,701
There's the poor man
out in California.

380
00:18:09,701 --> 00:18:11,100
He's out of a job.

381
00:18:11,100 --> 00:18:14,100
He's got that big house
to maintain in San Clemency.

382
00:18:18,534 --> 00:18:21,634
What about the rest
of the people in this country, huh, Arch?

383
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:24,734
Ford promised
no more secrets, no more surprises.

384
00:18:24,734 --> 00:18:27,434
What does he do?
He turns around and pardons Nixon.

385
00:18:27,434 --> 00:18:29,934
He done that
under direct orders, buddy boy.

386
00:18:29,934 --> 00:18:31,234
From who?

387
00:18:31,234 --> 00:18:33,667
God.

388
00:18:33,667 --> 00:18:35,567
Arch, we want to watch
the election returns.

389
00:18:35,567 --> 00:18:36,767
You care more
about a lousy movie

390
00:18:36,767 --> 00:18:38,767
than you do
a Presidential election?

391
00:18:38,767 --> 00:18:41,167
Certainly. What do I care
about something I know how it's going to come out?

392
00:18:41,167 --> 00:18:42,400
Everybody know
how it's gonna come out,

393
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:44,133
including
them McGovern people.

394
00:18:44,133 --> 00:18:46,434
See them on the news reels
with all the worried looks on their faces?

395
00:18:46,434 --> 00:18:48,868
Yeah. Yeah, not the Nixons.

396
00:18:48,868 --> 00:18:50,534
See the picture of Pat
in the paper today?

397
00:18:50,534 --> 00:18:52,367
She was all smiles.

398
00:18:52,367 --> 00:18:54,968
Yeah, well, maybe
she won't be smiling tomorrow.

399
00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:57,100
Yeah, she will, buddy boy,

400
00:18:57,100 --> 00:18:58,968
because when she wakes up
tomorrow morning,

401
00:18:58,968 --> 00:19:00,033
she knows she's been sleeping

402
00:19:00,033 --> 00:19:02,000
with the President
of the U.S. of A.

403
00:19:04,968 --> 00:19:06,267
Is she going
to McGovern's place,

404
00:19:06,267 --> 00:19:07,501
or is he going to hers?

405
00:19:17,901 --> 00:19:20,300
Robert Frost said,
"The middle of the road

406
00:19:20,300 --> 00:19:21,868
"is where the white line is--

407
00:19:21,868 --> 00:19:25,067
and that's the worst place
to drive."

408
00:19:25,067 --> 00:19:27,667
There were
no middle-of-the-roaders at the Bunkers',

409
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:28,968
and we've come in
for our share

410
00:19:28,968 --> 00:19:30,834
of criticism about that.

411
00:19:30,834 --> 00:19:33,868
Some people feel
that neither the characters nor the show

412
00:19:33,868 --> 00:19:36,234
had a right to express
a point of view.

413
00:19:36,234 --> 00:19:38,734
Well, throughout
the '50s and '60s

414
00:19:38,734 --> 00:19:41,033
there were dozens
of television comedies

415
00:19:41,033 --> 00:19:43,467
in which there were
no topical references,

416
00:19:43,467 --> 00:19:45,467
no political discussions,

417
00:19:45,467 --> 00:19:47,734
no mention of a current event,

418
00:19:47,734 --> 00:19:48,968
and we've often thought,

419
00:19:48,968 --> 00:19:51,334
by the very omission
of all reality,

420
00:19:51,334 --> 00:19:54,434
those programs were expressing
a point of view, too.

421
00:19:54,434 --> 00:19:57,868
They were telling us,
"You have no problem between the races.

422
00:19:57,868 --> 00:19:59,334
"There is no inflation,

423
00:19:59,334 --> 00:20:01,934
"no such thing as recession,
no unemployment.

424
00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:04,667
"There are no problems
with the poor or the elderly,

425
00:20:04,667 --> 00:20:06,868
"women are not seeking
equality,

426
00:20:06,868 --> 00:20:09,534
and we are not in trouble
in Vietnam."

427
00:20:09,534 --> 00:20:12,200
To us, the omission
of all social awareness

428
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:15,100
on the TV comedies
of the '50s and '60

429
00:20:15,100 --> 00:20:18,200
just might have expressed
a stronger point of view

430
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,234
than any subject
we may have touched

431
00:20:20,234 --> 00:20:22,601
in 8 1/2 years.

432
00:20:22,601 --> 00:20:24,934
And speaking of Vietnam,

433
00:20:24,934 --> 00:20:27,334
as Archie and Mike
wrestled with the problem,

434
00:20:27,334 --> 00:20:29,667
so did the rest of us,

435
00:20:29,667 --> 00:20:33,467
not that Archie
faced his feelings about Vietnam voluntarily.

436
00:20:33,467 --> 00:20:36,667
He met them head on
at his own dinner table.

437
00:20:36,667 --> 00:20:39,567
It was Christmas 1977.

438
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,434
How do you like that,
Pinky, huh?

439
00:20:43,434 --> 00:20:44,934
We got a draft dodger here,

440
00:20:44,934 --> 00:20:48,601
writes a snotty letter
to the Commander in Chief.

441
00:20:48,601 --> 00:20:50,567
I mean, what the hell
do you do with that?

442
00:20:50,567 --> 00:20:52,300
Look, Mr. Bunker,
I don't want to spoil your Christmas dinner,

443
00:20:52,300 --> 00:20:53,868
so maybe I should go.

444
00:20:53,868 --> 00:20:57,667
- Oh, no.
- Daddy, don't let him go. Don't make him--

445
00:20:57,667 --> 00:20:58,767
Certainly he's got to go!

446
00:20:58,767 --> 00:21:00,734
What are you talking about?

447
00:21:01,968 --> 00:21:03,567
The FBI was to find him here,

448
00:21:03,567 --> 00:21:05,934
we could all be having
Christmas dinner in the hoosegow.

449
00:21:05,934 --> 00:21:07,734
Daddy, it's Christmas Eve.

450
00:21:07,734 --> 00:21:09,334
Now, don't go making
a big crisis out of it.

451
00:21:09,334 --> 00:21:11,200
Look, Arch, what David did
took a lot of guts.

452
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:12,634
What do you mean,
a lot of guts?

453
00:21:12,634 --> 00:21:14,400
If my own father doesn't
understand, why should he?

454
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:15,901
When the hell
are you going to admit

455
00:21:15,901 --> 00:21:17,434
that the war was wrong?

456
00:21:17,434 --> 00:21:19,000
I ain't talking
about that war.

457
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,801
I don't want to talk about
that rotten damn war no more!

458
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,868
I'm talking
about something else!

459
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:28,734
And what he done was wrong!

460
00:21:28,734 --> 00:21:31,400
Saying he won't go.

461
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:33,601
What do you think,
that all the people of this country

462
00:21:33,601 --> 00:21:35,634
can say whether
or not they want to go to war?

463
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:39,767
You couldn't get a decent war
off the ground that way.

464
00:21:42,334 --> 00:21:44,234
All the young people
would say no.

465
00:21:44,234 --> 00:21:45,767
Sure they would

466
00:21:45,767 --> 00:21:48,534
because they don't want
to get killed.

467
00:21:48,534 --> 00:21:50,434
And that's why we leave it
to the Congress,

468
00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:52,934
because them old crocks
ain't gonna get killed.

469
00:21:54,467 --> 00:21:55,934
And they're going to do
the right thing

470
00:21:55,934 --> 00:21:58,701
and get behind the President
and vote yes.

471
00:21:58,701 --> 00:22:01,100
Arch, if my opinion
is of any importance--

472
00:22:01,100 --> 00:22:04,601
Certainly
your opinion is important.

473
00:22:04,601 --> 00:22:06,367
A gold star father.

474
00:22:06,367 --> 00:22:10,133
Your opinion is more important

475
00:22:10,133 --> 00:22:11,601
than anybody else
in this room,

476
00:22:11,601 --> 00:22:13,167
and I want to hear
that opinion,

477
00:22:13,167 --> 00:22:16,667
and I want these young people
here to hear that opinion.

478
00:22:16,667 --> 00:22:18,367
Now, you tell them, Pinky.
You tell them.

479
00:22:19,467 --> 00:22:22,567
I understand
how you feel, Arch.

480
00:22:22,567 --> 00:22:25,601
My kid hated the war, too,

481
00:22:25,601 --> 00:22:29,000
but he did what
he thought he had to do,

482
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:32,767
and David here did
what he thought he had to do.

483
00:22:32,767 --> 00:22:36,901
But David's alive to share
Christmas dinner with us,

484
00:22:36,901 --> 00:22:40,901
and if Steve were here,
he'd want to sit down with him,

485
00:22:40,901 --> 00:22:42,767
and that's what I want to do.

486
00:22:56,534 --> 00:22:58,100
Merry Christmas, David.

487
00:22:59,701 --> 00:23:01,400
Merry Christmas, sir.

488
00:23:08,467 --> 00:23:10,734
- Daddy--
- No, no, no, no.

489
00:23:17,601 --> 00:23:20,734
Archie, please,
sit down and eat.

490
00:23:20,734 --> 00:23:22,234
[muttering]
No, no, no, no.

491
00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:24,234
But, Archie, it's Christmas.

492
00:23:24,234 --> 00:23:26,601
I can't.

493
00:23:26,601 --> 00:23:29,267
I gotta work this out, Edith.

494
00:23:29,267 --> 00:23:30,567
I can't think about that.

495
00:23:30,567 --> 00:23:34,567
But, Archie,
you asked Pinky what to do,

496
00:23:34,567 --> 00:23:37,234
and you see what he's doing?

497
00:23:37,234 --> 00:23:39,667
You ought to do the same.

498
00:23:39,667 --> 00:23:40,901
Come on.

499
00:23:55,834 --> 00:23:58,400
There's a drumstick for you.

500
00:23:58,400 --> 00:23:59,901
Oh, Edith, I--

501
00:23:59,901 --> 00:24:02,033
I ain't thinking
about eating, geez.

502
00:24:02,033 --> 00:24:04,901
- I'll take it, Ma.
- Leave it on the plate. Leave it on the plate.

503
00:24:15,667 --> 00:24:18,133
Um...

504
00:24:18,133 --> 00:24:21,701
I don't want to stop
none of youse from...

505
00:24:21,701 --> 00:24:24,100
eating Edith's
nice Christmas dinner here.

506
00:24:26,834 --> 00:24:28,501
So you might as well eat it,

507
00:24:28,501 --> 00:24:30,334
but I'll tell you one thing.

508
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:35,033
When dinner's over,

509
00:24:35,033 --> 00:24:36,667
I still gotta work this out.

510
00:24:39,501 --> 00:24:41,367
You better remind me
to do that, Edith.

511
00:24:41,367 --> 00:24:44,400
Oh, I will.

512
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,667
Eat, eat, eat, eat.

513
00:25:00,567 --> 00:25:02,834
<i>We now rejoin </i>
<i>the 200th Episode Celebration</i>

514
00:25:02,834 --> 00:25:04,567
<i>of</i> All in the Family.

515
00:25:06,234 --> 00:25:08,801
Hello, Dr. Shapiro.

516
00:25:08,801 --> 00:25:14,067
This is Edith Bunker,
704 Hauser Street.

517
00:25:14,067 --> 00:25:18,334
Would you please call us
as soon as you can

518
00:25:18,334 --> 00:25:20,334
because my hu--

519
00:25:24,601 --> 00:25:26,601
Hello, Dr. Shapiro.

520
00:25:26,601 --> 00:25:30,067
This is Edith Bunker,
704 Hauser Street.

521
00:25:30,067 --> 00:25:32,467
Would you please call us
as soon as you can

522
00:25:32,467 --> 00:25:35,033
because my husband
Archie Bunker

523
00:25:35,033 --> 00:25:37,701
thinks he got
infectious hepat--

524
00:25:44,567 --> 00:25:47,834
Hello, Dr. Shapiro.
This is Edith Bunker, 704 Hauser Street.

525
00:25:47,834 --> 00:25:49,467
[not audible]

526
00:25:49,467 --> 00:25:52,834
What the hell are you doing
over there?

527
00:25:52,834 --> 00:25:55,100
I'm talking
to a tape recorder.

528
00:25:55,100 --> 00:25:57,400
They say give the message
when it beeps,

529
00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:00,434
but they don't give you
enough time between beeps.

530
00:26:00,434 --> 00:26:01,767
Give me that telephone!

531
00:26:08,067 --> 00:26:09,200
Who else--

532
00:26:10,667 --> 00:26:12,501
Who else but Edith Bunker

533
00:26:12,501 --> 00:26:14,100
would try to make peace

534
00:26:14,100 --> 00:26:15,767
with a telephone
answering machine?

535
00:26:16,968 --> 00:26:18,567
George Bernard Shaw once said

536
00:26:18,567 --> 00:26:21,434
that Christianity
might be a good thing

537
00:26:21,434 --> 00:26:23,868
if anyone ever tried it.

538
00:26:23,868 --> 00:26:26,067
Well, Edith has tried it.

539
00:26:26,067 --> 00:26:27,701
Edith Bunker lives it.

540
00:26:27,701 --> 00:26:29,267
Is it my deal?

541
00:26:29,267 --> 00:26:32,767
No, wait a minute.
Forget the deal.

542
00:26:32,767 --> 00:26:34,934
You don't play that bad.

543
00:26:34,934 --> 00:26:37,033
You gave me this
10 of spades on purpose.

544
00:26:37,033 --> 00:26:38,934
- I did?
- Yeah, you did.

545
00:26:38,934 --> 00:26:39,868
Now, why did you do that?

546
00:26:41,801 --> 00:26:43,934
Well, Archie,

547
00:26:43,934 --> 00:26:46,267
I thought
it would make you feel better

548
00:26:46,267 --> 00:26:47,801
if I let you win.

549
00:26:47,801 --> 00:26:49,133
What?

550
00:26:53,234 --> 00:26:54,734
That would be the day

551
00:26:54,734 --> 00:26:56,901
when I gotta win by you
letting me win.

552
00:26:56,901 --> 00:26:59,400
I was winning here
before you let me win.

553
00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:00,968
You know what you done now?
You spoiled the game.

554
00:27:00,968 --> 00:27:02,400
I don't want to play
with you no more.

555
00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:03,567
You want to do
something together?

556
00:27:03,567 --> 00:27:04,801
Do something together
by yourself.

557
00:27:06,634 --> 00:27:08,934
Archie, I'm sorry.

558
00:27:08,934 --> 00:27:10,901
I thought I was doing
a good thing.

559
00:27:10,901 --> 00:27:12,467
Oh, sure, good thing.

560
00:27:12,467 --> 00:27:13,601
That's you all over,

561
00:27:13,601 --> 00:27:14,868
always doing good.

562
00:27:14,868 --> 00:27:16,133
Edith the good.

563
00:27:16,133 --> 00:27:17,701
You never get mad at nobody.

564
00:27:17,701 --> 00:27:19,000
You never holler at nobody.

565
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,834
You never swear, no nothing.

566
00:27:20,834 --> 00:27:22,400
You're like a saint, Edith.

567
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:23,934
You think it's fun living
with a saint?

568
00:27:23,934 --> 00:27:26,367
It ain't.
It ain't at all.

569
00:27:26,367 --> 00:27:28,934
Look at this.
You don't even cheat to win.

570
00:27:28,934 --> 00:27:31,434
You cheat to lose.

571
00:27:32,734 --> 00:27:34,901
I mean, Edith,
you ain't human.

572
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:38,567
That's a terrible thing
to say.

573
00:27:38,567 --> 00:27:40,767
I'm just as human as you are.

574
00:27:40,767 --> 00:27:42,734
Prove you're just
as human as me.

575
00:27:42,734 --> 00:27:44,067
Do something rotten.

576
00:27:47,767 --> 00:27:49,834
All right, I will.

577
00:27:49,834 --> 00:27:51,100
You're a--

578
00:27:51,100 --> 00:27:53,767
You're-- You're a--

579
00:27:53,767 --> 00:27:55,400
Ohh!

580
00:27:56,467 --> 00:27:57,534
[groans]

581
00:28:01,801 --> 00:28:03,000
I can't.

582
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:04,234
I know you can't.

583
00:28:04,234 --> 00:28:06,234
You can't do nothing
that ain't good.

584
00:28:06,234 --> 00:28:08,033
You ain't--
You ain't human.

585
00:28:08,033 --> 00:28:09,968
I am so, human!

586
00:28:09,968 --> 00:28:14,434
How can you say that I'm not
after 23 years of marriage?

587
00:28:14,434 --> 00:28:17,334
How can you stand there
and say I'm not human?

588
00:28:17,334 --> 00:28:20,100
- [crying]
- Oh, geez, now you're going to cry, there, Edith.

589
00:28:20,100 --> 00:28:23,133
I can't help it.
That was a terrible thing to say.

590
00:28:23,133 --> 00:28:25,667
I can't stand here
and fight with you if you're going to cry.

591
00:28:25,667 --> 00:28:27,834
I can't help it.

592
00:28:27,834 --> 00:28:30,834
You say you're sorry,
and I'll stop crying.

593
00:28:30,834 --> 00:28:32,534
- [crying]
- Stop that.

594
00:28:32,534 --> 00:28:34,934
Stop that.

595
00:28:34,934 --> 00:28:39,200
Archie, things will never be
the same between us

596
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:41,934
if you don't say you're sorry.

597
00:28:41,934 --> 00:28:43,601
- Are you going
to stop crying? - I can't.

598
00:28:43,601 --> 00:28:44,601
Then that's it.

599
00:28:44,601 --> 00:28:46,133
Archie, where are you going?

600
00:28:46,133 --> 00:28:47,501
I'm going to go out.

601
00:28:47,501 --> 00:28:50,067
Archie, please,
say you're sorry.

602
00:28:50,067 --> 00:28:52,100
I'll give you one more chance
to stop crying.

603
00:28:52,100 --> 00:28:54,133
- You going to stop?
- I can't.

604
00:28:54,133 --> 00:28:57,400
Then that's it.
Pushed me too far, Edith.

605
00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:00,133
Good-bye.
Good-bye.

606
00:29:05,601 --> 00:29:07,267
What's your secret?

607
00:29:07,267 --> 00:29:10,334
Oh, I ain't got no secret.

608
00:29:10,334 --> 00:29:13,234
Archie and me
still have fights,

609
00:29:13,234 --> 00:29:16,267
but we don't let them go on
too long.

610
00:29:16,267 --> 00:29:18,968
Somebody always says,
"I'm sorry,"

611
00:29:18,968 --> 00:29:21,601
and Archie always says,
"That's okay, Edith."

612
00:29:26,434 --> 00:29:28,434
And then we forget it.

613
00:29:28,434 --> 00:29:31,033
No, Edith,
that's not what I mean.

614
00:29:31,033 --> 00:29:33,667
I mean, you must be
doing something right

615
00:29:33,667 --> 00:29:35,434
when you go to bed at night.

616
00:29:42,267 --> 00:29:43,801
We go to sleep.

617
00:29:45,634 --> 00:29:49,334
No, no, Edith.
Nothing-- Nothing more?

618
00:29:51,267 --> 00:29:54,834
Well, nothing more
than we've been doing

619
00:29:54,834 --> 00:29:56,968
since the minister
said we could.

620
00:29:59,567 --> 00:30:03,567
But, Edith, do you see
pinwheels and sky rockets

621
00:30:03,567 --> 00:30:05,601
and fireworks
like the Fourth of July?

622
00:30:20,167 --> 00:30:22,968
With me and Archie,

623
00:30:22,968 --> 00:30:25,267
it's more like Thanksgiving.

624
00:30:29,634 --> 00:30:32,067
Archie, a present for me?

625
00:30:32,067 --> 00:30:33,434
Certainly. Open it up.

626
00:30:33,434 --> 00:30:37,334
Oh, very surprised.

627
00:30:39,234 --> 00:30:43,434
Oh, Archie,

628
00:30:43,434 --> 00:30:46,067
a Lady Gillette.

629
00:30:51,667 --> 00:30:52,968
Oh.

630
00:30:52,968 --> 00:30:54,133
Yeah, well, the drug store

631
00:30:54,133 --> 00:30:55,901
was the only joint open
this time of night.

632
00:30:57,434 --> 00:30:59,667
Thank you.

633
00:30:59,667 --> 00:31:00,868
You like it?

634
00:31:00,868 --> 00:31:02,868
Who wouldn't?

635
00:31:04,767 --> 00:31:06,033
What about you two?

636
00:31:06,033 --> 00:31:07,501
What happened
on your first date?

637
00:31:07,501 --> 00:31:08,534
Make believe
you don't hear that.

638
00:31:08,534 --> 00:31:11,133
Oh, I'll never forget it.

639
00:31:11,133 --> 00:31:12,701
Try.

640
00:31:12,701 --> 00:31:14,701
I was at the Puritan Maid
ice cream parlor--

641
00:31:14,701 --> 00:31:16,000
Don't make it a long story,
will you?

642
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,834
Yeah, me and my cousin Mort.

643
00:31:18,834 --> 00:31:20,400
[whining]
Mort.

644
00:31:21,734 --> 00:31:23,868
We was having
one of their specials.

645
00:31:23,868 --> 00:31:25,701
It was called a Steamboat.

646
00:31:25,701 --> 00:31:27,634
Oh, it was so delicious--

647
00:31:27,634 --> 00:31:29,734
five different flavors,

648
00:31:29,734 --> 00:31:33,300
and Archie was sitting
at another table,

649
00:31:33,300 --> 00:31:35,534
with that fellow
Jefferson Pratt.

650
00:31:35,534 --> 00:31:37,501
Remember him?

651
00:31:37,501 --> 00:31:41,634
Anyway, Archie was trying
to get my attention.

652
00:31:41,634 --> 00:31:46,467
So first he put two straws
in his nose like a Walrus.

653
00:31:46,467 --> 00:31:48,667
- And then...
- [applause]

654
00:31:48,667 --> 00:31:52,000
[no audible dialogue]

655
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:54,767
No, anyplace you want to,
Archie.

656
00:31:54,767 --> 00:31:58,467
Come on. Tell me,
where would you like to take me?

657
00:31:58,467 --> 00:32:01,167
Well, I would like to take you
out to the kitchen

658
00:32:01,167 --> 00:32:05,000
and introduce you
to some pots and pans.

659
00:32:09,367 --> 00:32:11,334
Oh. Oh, yeah.

660
00:32:11,334 --> 00:32:13,367
I see.

661
00:32:13,367 --> 00:32:17,167
You don't wanna take me with you
when you get out

662
00:32:17,167 --> 00:32:19,400
'cause you wanna get away
from me.

663
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:22,133
- Oh, Edith, geez.
- Is that right?

664
00:32:22,133 --> 00:32:24,601
- Ain't that the truth?
- Edith.

665
00:32:24,601 --> 00:32:27,667
It's the truth,
ain't it, Archie?

666
00:32:27,667 --> 00:32:29,400
Ed-- All right.
You want the truth?

667
00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:31,067
I'll tell you the truth.

668
00:32:31,067 --> 00:32:34,033
The truth is,
that's the truth.

669
00:32:34,033 --> 00:32:37,400
Sometimes. Sometimes.

670
00:32:49,868 --> 00:32:52,434
Well, now, Edith,
I said sometimes.

671
00:32:52,434 --> 00:32:54,133
I said sometimes there.

672
00:32:54,133 --> 00:32:57,000
Don't go falling apart
on me, will you?

673
00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:59,033
We're married 27 years there.

674
00:32:59,033 --> 00:33:02,033
Don't mess around
with a perfect marriage.

675
00:33:02,033 --> 00:33:03,701
Where you going?

676
00:33:03,701 --> 00:33:05,534
I'm going out.

677
00:33:05,534 --> 00:33:07,567
Edith, what are you
talking about?

678
00:33:07,567 --> 00:33:08,901
Where you going alone?

679
00:33:08,901 --> 00:33:10,234
See, Archie,

680
00:33:10,234 --> 00:33:14,234
I gotta get away
from you tonight.

681
00:33:14,234 --> 00:33:17,267
[audience applauding, cheering]

682
00:33:17,267 --> 00:33:19,367
Edith, Edith, Edith,

683
00:33:19,367 --> 00:33:22,334
I asked you where you was going.

684
00:33:22,334 --> 00:33:24,868
Where are you going?

685
00:33:24,868 --> 00:33:28,300
I'm going where the action is.

686
00:33:28,300 --> 00:33:29,501
[audience applauding, cheering]

687
00:33:29,501 --> 00:33:31,601
[people whistling]

688
00:33:38,300 --> 00:33:40,334
I'm gonna thank God--
Thank God.

689
00:33:40,334 --> 00:33:44,033
Thanks.
You're okay in my book.

690
00:33:44,033 --> 00:33:46,334
No, really, Edith.
Now, we gotta have

691
00:33:46,334 --> 00:33:48,434
- a little thankfulness
around here, you know? - Oh, yeah.

692
00:33:48,434 --> 00:33:50,501
Hey, hey, church on Sunday, huh?

693
00:33:50,501 --> 00:33:53,100
- Oh, Archie,
that would be nice. - Yeah.

694
00:33:54,267 --> 00:33:57,501
Yeah. Maybe
I'll even go with ya.

695
00:33:57,501 --> 00:33:59,234
[applause]

696
00:34:05,167 --> 00:34:08,367
The fact that Archie
never went to church very much

697
00:34:08,367 --> 00:34:12,000
never kept him from
his own interpretation of the Bible.

698
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,133
Of course, people have
been interpreting the Bible

699
00:34:14,133 --> 00:34:16,567
for their own purposes
for centuries.

700
00:34:16,567 --> 00:34:18,234
But none of them
could've done so

701
00:34:18,234 --> 00:34:21,534
with any more passion
or any more convolution

702
00:34:21,534 --> 00:34:24,901
than Abe Bunker,
from the vicinity of his chair,

703
00:34:24,901 --> 00:34:27,968
at 704 Hauser Street, Queens.

704
00:34:29,033 --> 00:34:30,534
Let me tell you something.

705
00:34:30,534 --> 00:34:33,000
When the missionaries
went into darkest Africa

706
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:34,601
to bring God to the natives,

707
00:34:34,601 --> 00:34:36,901
you think they asked
their permission?

708
00:34:36,901 --> 00:34:38,901
Like hell. They dragged them
out of the trees

709
00:34:38,901 --> 00:34:42,067
and right down to the river,

710
00:34:42,067 --> 00:34:44,067
and they held them under there

711
00:34:44,067 --> 00:34:46,200
until they seen the light.

712
00:34:50,868 --> 00:34:53,934
And the natives
was glad about that,

713
00:34:53,934 --> 00:34:56,200
because that's the way
they found God.

714
00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:57,868
And then later on,

715
00:34:57,868 --> 00:35:00,200
when they was chained to
the bottom of the slave ships,

716
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:02,501
why, they was happy
because they had somebody

717
00:35:02,501 --> 00:35:04,334
to pray to there, see?

718
00:35:04,334 --> 00:35:06,968
Which proves that
for everybody's own good,

719
00:35:06,968 --> 00:35:08,434
you gotta use force.

720
00:35:08,434 --> 00:35:10,601
That's the Christian way.

721
00:35:11,934 --> 00:35:14,534
Edith, do you know
where God sends people

722
00:35:14,534 --> 00:35:16,133
who dares go against His will?

723
00:35:16,133 --> 00:35:18,567
- Where?
- To hell, hell, hell!

724
00:35:18,567 --> 00:35:22,200
Now, Edith, he sent down
plagues on you, Edith.

725
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:25,067
Thousands of "berls"
like he put onto Job there,

726
00:35:25,067 --> 00:35:26,834
and locusts there
to rip up your lung

727
00:35:26,834 --> 00:35:28,567
and eat your hedges there,

728
00:35:28,567 --> 00:35:31,400
and then send down hailstones
as big as baseballs

729
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:32,734
to bust your roof out there.

730
00:35:32,734 --> 00:35:34,834
He could ram you
within the belly of a whale.

731
00:35:34,834 --> 00:35:37,300
If God gets sore enough
with you, Edith,

732
00:35:37,300 --> 00:35:40,200
he could your jawbone
into an ass.

733
00:35:41,834 --> 00:35:43,567
If God had meant man to fight,

734
00:35:43,567 --> 00:35:45,767
why didn't he put guns
in the Garden of Eden?

735
00:35:45,767 --> 00:35:49,467
Who the hell is Adam
gonna shoot, Eve?

736
00:35:51,267 --> 00:35:53,133
And why is he gonna
do that anyway?

737
00:35:53,133 --> 00:35:55,567
'Cause she's gotta
help him populate the world

738
00:35:55,567 --> 00:35:58,133
and make his breakfast for him.

739
00:35:58,133 --> 00:36:00,334
And when the world
gets population enough,

740
00:36:00,334 --> 00:36:02,133
and you got enough people
in the world to make armies,

741
00:36:02,133 --> 00:36:05,234
then God sent down a way
that they could invent the gun.

742
00:36:05,234 --> 00:36:08,567
And I think that German preacher
Martin "Luger"

743
00:36:08,567 --> 00:36:10,467
made the first one.

744
00:36:11,934 --> 00:36:14,701
I swear, I think
you do these things sometimes

745
00:36:14,701 --> 00:36:16,334
just to eat my heart out.

746
00:36:16,334 --> 00:36:18,567
And that's what you do,
you know.

747
00:36:18,567 --> 00:36:21,334
Little by little,
piece by piece,

748
00:36:21,334 --> 00:36:23,367
you eat my heart out.

749
00:36:23,367 --> 00:36:25,834
I don't care.

750
00:36:27,968 --> 00:36:30,200
Well, you're not gonna
get away with this.

751
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:32,467
- What are you
gonna do about it? - This.

752
00:36:32,467 --> 00:36:34,901
Watergate, Watergate,
Watergate, Watergate, Watergate, Watergate!

753
00:36:34,901 --> 00:36:37,667
- Watergate, Watergate,
Watergate, Watergate! - Don't say that no more!

754
00:36:37,667 --> 00:36:39,434
Goddamn it!

755
00:36:40,968 --> 00:36:42,801
What happened to you?

756
00:36:42,801 --> 00:36:45,567
- You shouldn't swear like that.
- I didn't swear.

757
00:36:45,567 --> 00:36:47,100
- You shouldn't swear like that.
- I didn't swear.

758
00:36:47,100 --> 00:36:50,100
- You swore, you swore.
- I did not. I did not.

759
00:36:50,100 --> 00:36:52,434
Ever since this Watergate thing,

760
00:36:52,434 --> 00:36:55,334
it's "G.D. this and G.D. that."

761
00:36:55,334 --> 00:36:58,200
That ain't swearing, Edith--
G.D.

762
00:36:58,200 --> 00:36:59,901
The first word there is "God,"
ain't it?

763
00:36:59,901 --> 00:37:01,400
How can that be a swear word--

764
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:04,434
the most popular word
in the Bible?

765
00:37:04,434 --> 00:37:06,167
The second word--
that's "damn."

766
00:37:06,167 --> 00:37:08,734
That's a perfectly good word.
You hear that all the time.

767
00:37:08,734 --> 00:37:12,133
Like, uh, they dammed the river
to keep it from flooding, see?

768
00:37:12,133 --> 00:37:14,167
And even in the Bible,
you read where some guy

769
00:37:14,167 --> 00:37:16,000
is damned for cheating
or stealing

770
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:17,767
or committing "insects"
in the family.

771
00:37:21,968 --> 00:37:24,901
And who damned them?
Who else? God!

772
00:37:24,901 --> 00:37:26,701
God damned him!

773
00:37:26,701 --> 00:37:29,501
Edith, beautiful words
right out of the holy book.

774
00:37:29,501 --> 00:37:31,534
Don't show your ignorance.

775
00:37:31,534 --> 00:37:33,968
[applause]

776
00:37:38,601 --> 00:37:41,033
Archie-- Archie
could use the Bible

777
00:37:41,033 --> 00:37:43,601
to rationalize
his poorest behavior.

778
00:37:43,601 --> 00:37:45,434
Nothing new in that.

779
00:37:45,434 --> 00:37:49,601
Nothing new in using the Bible
to rationalize bigotry either.

780
00:37:49,601 --> 00:37:53,501
Has the presence on television
of Archie Bunker, the bigot,

781
00:37:53,501 --> 00:37:57,067
helped to assuage
the problem of bigotry in our society?

782
00:37:57,067 --> 00:37:59,067
Or has it reinforced it?

783
00:37:59,067 --> 00:38:01,100
The question
has been raised often,

784
00:38:01,100 --> 00:38:03,167
and we don't know the answer.

785
00:38:03,167 --> 00:38:05,300
But we're convinced
that part of it rests

786
00:38:05,300 --> 00:38:09,434
in how smart we perceive
the American people to be.

787
00:38:09,434 --> 00:38:12,033
The social critic H.L. Mencken

788
00:38:12,033 --> 00:38:14,534
may have done us a great harm
when he quipped,

789
00:38:14,534 --> 00:38:16,367
"No one ever lost money

790
00:38:16,367 --> 00:38:19,968
underestimating the intelligence
of the American people."

791
00:38:19,968 --> 00:38:21,968
I think we're all losers

792
00:38:21,968 --> 00:38:24,601
every time
our leaders believe that.

793
00:38:24,601 --> 00:38:27,534
Anyway,
however much we may laugh

794
00:38:27,534 --> 00:38:31,167
at the way Archie expresses
his outrageous prejudices,

795
00:38:31,167 --> 00:38:34,701
and however loveable
he may be in other respects,

796
00:38:34,701 --> 00:38:38,067
we are content
that the American people know very well

797
00:38:38,067 --> 00:38:40,634
that Archie Bunker,
the bigot,

798
00:38:40,634 --> 00:38:43,000
is basically a horse's ass.

799
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:44,200
[laughter]

800
00:38:46,968 --> 00:38:50,868
Are you telling me the Pope
gets a kickback on chain letters?

801
00:38:50,868 --> 00:38:54,267
Well, I didn't say that,
but figure it out yourself.

802
00:38:54,267 --> 00:38:56,267
He lives in a big palace,
don't he?

803
00:38:56,267 --> 00:38:58,367
Got about a thousand dollars'
worth of paintings

804
00:38:58,367 --> 00:39:01,000
on the ceiling alone.

805
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:04,334
He's got a ring bigger
than Elizabeth "Taylorses."

806
00:39:04,334 --> 00:39:07,400
And he dresses better
than Jackie "Manasses."

807
00:39:09,467 --> 00:39:12,701
You don't pay for all that stuff
selling meatballs.

808
00:39:13,801 --> 00:39:15,601
Oh, no.
I'm gonna sue that guy.

809
00:39:15,601 --> 00:39:18,534
First thing in the morning,
I gotta get myself a good Jew lawyer.

810
00:39:20,601 --> 00:39:23,734
Archie, do you always
have to label people?

811
00:39:23,734 --> 00:39:26,601
Why can't you just get a lawyer?
Why does it have to be a Jewish lawyer?

812
00:39:26,601 --> 00:39:29,000
'Cause when I'm
gonna sue an "Ayrab," I'm gonna get a guy

813
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:30,868
that's full of hate.

814
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:38,634
Just because a guy is sensitive
and he's an intellectual,

815
00:39:38,634 --> 00:39:40,901
and he wears glasses,
you make him out a queer.

816
00:39:40,901 --> 00:39:43,734
I never said a guy
who wears glasses is a queer.

817
00:39:43,734 --> 00:39:45,901
A guy who wears glasses
is a four-eyes.

818
00:39:45,901 --> 00:39:48,200
A guy who is a fag is a queer.

819
00:39:49,367 --> 00:39:51,634
They like to be called Chicanos,
all right?

820
00:39:51,634 --> 00:39:55,234
Aw, who cares?
What's in a name anyhow, huh?

821
00:39:55,234 --> 00:39:57,601
In my day, nobody went around
calling themselves

822
00:39:57,601 --> 00:40:00,267
Chicano, Mexican-Americans,
Afro-Americans.

823
00:40:00,267 --> 00:40:02,868
We was all Americans.

824
00:40:02,868 --> 00:40:07,601
After that, if a guy
was a jig or a spic, it was his own business.

825
00:40:07,601 --> 00:40:09,601
His wife, Ramona, told him.

826
00:40:09,601 --> 00:40:11,868
And she got it straight
from their own doctor,

827
00:40:11,868 --> 00:40:15,300
a regular white guy.

828
00:40:15,300 --> 00:40:18,067
Nothing personal.
I mean, you understand me.

829
00:40:18,067 --> 00:40:20,200
- Oh, sure. I understand you.
- Yeah.

830
00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:24,100
Them white doctors,
they sure knows their stuff.

831
00:40:26,300 --> 00:40:28,367
Boy, that Marcus Welby,

832
00:40:28,367 --> 00:40:32,434
he must make 15 million
house calls a week.

833
00:40:32,434 --> 00:40:34,300
Mm, mm, mm, mm.

834
00:40:34,300 --> 00:40:36,734
[whoops]

835
00:40:36,734 --> 00:40:38,567
[applause]

836
00:40:40,701 --> 00:40:42,868
[chuckles]

837
00:40:42,868 --> 00:40:46,234
Where does-- Where does
Archie's prejudice come from?

838
00:40:46,234 --> 00:40:48,634
Where does anyone's
prejudice come from?

839
00:40:48,634 --> 00:40:50,634
Oscar Hammerstein told us

840
00:40:50,634 --> 00:40:53,234
you've got to be
carefully taught.

841
00:40:53,234 --> 00:40:55,167
Archie and Mike
were stuck one night

842
00:40:55,167 --> 00:40:57,267
in the storeroom
of Archie's bar.

843
00:40:57,267 --> 00:40:59,634
It was cold,
and they had been drinking.

844
00:41:02,234 --> 00:41:06,033
So I couldn't go to school
with only one shoe, see?

845
00:41:06,033 --> 00:41:08,033
But my mother--
she found a boot.

846
00:41:08,033 --> 00:41:11,367
So I had a shoe
on one foot there,

847
00:41:11,367 --> 00:41:13,200
and a boot on the other.

848
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:15,501
A shoe and a boot.
Shoe, boot.

849
00:41:15,501 --> 00:41:18,701
So the kids called me
Shoebootie.

850
00:41:22,434 --> 00:41:24,434
The kids
all made fun of you, huh?

851
00:41:24,434 --> 00:41:25,934
Yeah, they all made fu--

852
00:41:25,934 --> 00:41:30,300
Well, all except
one little black kid by the name of Winston.

853
00:41:30,300 --> 00:41:32,300
A black kid liked you?

854
00:41:32,300 --> 00:41:35,901
No, the black kid
beat the hell outta me.

855
00:41:38,734 --> 00:41:40,901
Why?

856
00:41:40,901 --> 00:41:43,467
I-- I don't know.
Nothing much.

857
00:41:43,467 --> 00:41:46,567
Well, he must've had a reason.

858
00:41:46,567 --> 00:41:50,267
Well, he said
that I said he was a nigger.

859
00:41:50,267 --> 00:41:51,934
Well, did you?

860
00:41:51,934 --> 00:41:53,567
Sure.

861
00:41:55,434 --> 00:41:57,968
Well, then that's the reason.

862
00:41:59,234 --> 00:42:02,133
What the hell reason was that?

863
00:42:02,133 --> 00:42:05,934
That's what all them people
was called in them days there.

864
00:42:05,934 --> 00:42:09,200
I mean, everybody we knew
called them people niggers.

865
00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:11,901
That's all my old man
ever called them there.

866
00:42:11,901 --> 00:42:15,167
Did you ever think that possibly

867
00:42:15,167 --> 00:42:18,200
your father just might be wrong?

868
00:42:19,968 --> 00:42:22,567
Wrong-- my old man?
Don't be stupid.

869
00:42:22,567 --> 00:42:24,434
My old man--
Let me tell you about him.

870
00:42:24,434 --> 00:42:26,067
He was never wrong
about nothing.

871
00:42:26,067 --> 00:42:27,868
- Yes, he was, Arch.
- Huh?

872
00:42:27,868 --> 00:42:31,501
Father who made you...

873
00:42:31,501 --> 00:42:33,367
wrong?

874
00:42:33,367 --> 00:42:35,367
Your father,

875
00:42:35,367 --> 00:42:38,534
the breadwinner
in the house there,

876
00:42:38,534 --> 00:42:40,467
the man who goes out

877
00:42:40,467 --> 00:42:43,601
and busts his butt
to keep a roof over your head

878
00:42:43,601 --> 00:42:45,901
and clothes on your back--

879
00:42:45,901 --> 00:42:47,634
You call your father wrong?

880
00:42:47,634 --> 00:42:50,801
Hey, hey, your father--

881
00:42:50,801 --> 00:42:53,200
Your father--

882
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:55,701
that's the man that comes home,

883
00:42:55,701 --> 00:42:57,634
bringing you candy.

884
00:42:59,300 --> 00:43:03,033
Your father's the first guy
to throw a baseball to you

885
00:43:04,133 --> 00:43:06,767
and take you for walks

886
00:43:06,767 --> 00:43:08,767
in the park,

887
00:43:08,767 --> 00:43:11,234
hold me by the hand.

888
00:43:12,667 --> 00:43:15,467
My father held me by the hand.

889
00:43:15,467 --> 00:43:17,033
Oh, hey.

890
00:43:18,534 --> 00:43:21,534
My father had a hand on him--

891
00:43:21,534 --> 00:43:23,667
Oh, I tell you.

892
00:43:23,667 --> 00:43:25,968
He busted that had once,

893
00:43:25,968 --> 00:43:28,300
and he busted it on me

894
00:43:29,467 --> 00:43:31,834
to teach me to do good.

895
00:43:31,834 --> 00:43:33,534
Hmm?

896
00:43:33,534 --> 00:43:36,834
My father-- he shoved me
in the closet

897
00:43:36,834 --> 00:43:40,300
for seven hours
to teach me to do good

898
00:43:40,300 --> 00:43:42,234
'cause he loved me.

899
00:43:42,234 --> 00:43:45,000
He loved me.

900
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:47,934
Don't be looking at me!

901
00:43:49,501 --> 00:43:51,167
[grumbles]

902
00:43:52,501 --> 00:43:54,634
Aah.

903
00:43:56,767 --> 00:43:59,567
Let me tell you something.

904
00:43:59,567 --> 00:44:03,434
You're supposed
to love your father

905
00:44:03,434 --> 00:44:07,467
'cause your father loves you.

906
00:44:09,334 --> 00:44:12,968
Now, how can any man
that loves you

907
00:44:12,968 --> 00:44:15,934
tell you anything
that's wrong?

908
00:44:18,234 --> 00:44:19,934
What's the use in talking?

909
00:44:19,934 --> 00:44:22,868
[muttering]

910
00:44:25,968 --> 00:44:27,601
[grunts]

911
00:44:27,601 --> 00:44:29,667
[mutters]

912
00:44:34,467 --> 00:44:36,167
[sighs]

913
00:45:07,934 --> 00:45:09,767
[sighs]

914
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:23,100
Good night, Shoebootie.

915
00:45:40,734 --> 00:45:42,334
Thank you.

916
00:45:42,334 --> 00:45:45,167
There was a time
when <i>All in the Family</i>

917
00:45:45,167 --> 00:45:48,601
could not be seen on television
before 9:00 p.m.

918
00:45:48,601 --> 00:45:51,033
The network hierarchy
wanted to protect children

919
00:45:51,033 --> 00:45:52,968
from its frank language,

920
00:45:52,968 --> 00:45:54,934
which could be heard,
of course, any day,

921
00:45:54,934 --> 00:45:58,100
on any school playground
anywhere in the country.

922
00:45:58,100 --> 00:46:00,100
Children also needed protection,

923
00:46:00,100 --> 00:46:02,300
these executives thought,
from the candid way

924
00:46:02,300 --> 00:46:05,400
we handled human sexuality.

925
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:08,834
How much protection
this afforded children we don't know,

926
00:46:08,834 --> 00:46:10,834
since the very same shows
were being run

927
00:46:10,834 --> 00:46:14,267
five times a week, in the middle
of the afternoon anyway.

928
00:46:14,267 --> 00:46:16,968
We mention this
not to berate the network,

929
00:46:16,968 --> 00:46:19,567
but to point up
the schizophrenic attitude

930
00:46:19,567 --> 00:46:22,200
about sex
that pervades our society,

931
00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:23,901
right up to, and including,

932
00:46:23,901 --> 00:46:26,868
some of the nation's
most prominent executives.

933
00:46:26,868 --> 00:46:28,601
If they can't deal with,

934
00:46:28,601 --> 00:46:31,968
what then should we expect
from an Edith or Archie Bunker

935
00:46:31,968 --> 00:46:33,968
as they attempt to deal
with the problems

936
00:46:33,968 --> 00:46:36,300
of human sexuality
in their lives.

937
00:46:38,133 --> 00:46:41,234
Ma, did you ever wonder
if Daddy stopped loving you?

938
00:46:41,234 --> 00:46:44,234
Is that what's bothering you?

939
00:46:44,234 --> 00:46:48,534
You think your father
don't love me no more?

940
00:46:48,534 --> 00:46:51,501
No, Ma, it's not Daddy
I'm thinking about,

941
00:46:51,501 --> 00:46:52,934
it's Michael.

942
00:46:52,934 --> 00:46:58,267
Michael. Why would Michael
love me no more?

943
00:46:58,267 --> 00:47:02,067
No, Ma, the problem's
between Michael and me.

944
00:47:02,067 --> 00:47:05,434
Oh. Well, what is it?

945
00:47:07,267 --> 00:47:10,801
Ma, you know I can't tell you
about a sexual problem.

946
00:47:10,801 --> 00:47:13,767
- Sexu--
- Yes.

947
00:47:16,534 --> 00:47:18,868
Can I?

948
00:47:24,234 --> 00:47:26,100
Why not?

949
00:47:28,734 --> 00:47:31,167
I mean, I'm your mother,

950
00:47:31,167 --> 00:47:36,334
and if you have
a problem about s--

951
00:47:36,334 --> 00:47:39,534
s-something to do with...

952
00:47:39,534 --> 00:47:42,067
one of those problems,

953
00:47:42,067 --> 00:47:44,167
you can tell me.

954
00:47:44,167 --> 00:47:47,767
All right. It's Michael.

955
00:47:47,767 --> 00:47:51,467
You see, lately,
we've been apart.

956
00:47:51,467 --> 00:47:53,534
Why?

957
00:47:53,534 --> 00:47:56,501
Well, lately,
he hasn't been able to--

958
00:47:59,667 --> 00:48:02,734
You see, I can't tell you.

959
00:48:02,734 --> 00:48:05,467
Oh, Gloria, I'm sorry.

960
00:48:05,467 --> 00:48:07,067
It's crazy.

961
00:48:07,067 --> 00:48:09,767
The longer it goes on,
the more worried he gets

962
00:48:09,767 --> 00:48:13,400
and the more guilty
about himself and the more angry at me.

963
00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:14,901
Oh, well, don't worry.

964
00:48:14,901 --> 00:48:17,734
I'm sure it'll be all right.

965
00:48:17,734 --> 00:48:19,834
I have a call into Dr. Kermit.

966
00:48:19,834 --> 00:48:21,434
Maybe he'll know what's wrong.

967
00:48:21,434 --> 00:48:24,501
Oh, sure. He'll know.

968
00:48:24,501 --> 00:48:28,300
It's probably just something
that's going around.

969
00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:35,734
What's the problem
with them two?

970
00:48:35,734 --> 00:48:40,100
Well, Archie, I don't know
the whole story, but...

971
00:48:40,100 --> 00:48:42,634
Oh, I just can't tell you.

972
00:48:42,634 --> 00:48:45,701
You just don't like
to hear about such things.

973
00:48:45,701 --> 00:48:48,300
I like to hear about everything
that's going on in this house.

974
00:48:48,300 --> 00:48:50,434
Now, what kind of a problem
have they got?

975
00:48:51,734 --> 00:48:55,267
Well, it's sexual.

976
00:48:55,267 --> 00:48:56,934
Shush.

977
00:49:04,100 --> 00:49:06,400
You know I don't like to hear
nothing about that there.

978
00:49:09,300 --> 00:49:12,100
You better hear
about this, Archie.

979
00:49:13,834 --> 00:49:17,067
Well, all right.
You can tell me.

980
00:49:17,067 --> 00:49:20,167
But start slow.

981
00:49:20,167 --> 00:49:23,601
Don't put in nothing extra, see?

982
00:49:23,601 --> 00:49:27,133
And I'll say "stop"
when I know what it is.

983
00:49:30,834 --> 00:49:33,200
Well...

984
00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:36,334
You remember you once told me

985
00:49:36,334 --> 00:49:38,734
about a fella,
Petie Simpson,

986
00:49:38,734 --> 00:49:40,267
who came back from the war?

987
00:49:40,267 --> 00:49:42,467
Stop. I know what it is.

988
00:49:45,033 --> 00:49:48,801
- And he wasn't able to--
- Stop! I know what it is.

989
00:49:53,601 --> 00:49:54,534
Mm-hmm.

990
00:49:56,667 --> 00:49:58,667
- Oh, nah, Edith.
- Oh, yeah.

991
00:49:58,667 --> 00:50:01,067
Gloria told me.

992
00:50:02,167 --> 00:50:04,167
And she was there.

993
00:50:06,701 --> 00:50:08,834
I don't have a condition,
I'm pregnant.

994
00:50:08,834 --> 00:50:10,334
Don't say that.

995
00:50:10,334 --> 00:50:12,734
Can't you say you're expecting?

996
00:50:12,734 --> 00:50:16,300
Geez, "pregnant" sounds
like you done something.

997
00:50:17,634 --> 00:50:19,567
We did.

998
00:50:25,801 --> 00:50:29,400
When I was a little girl
and a woman was starting to show,

999
00:50:29,400 --> 00:50:33,167
they used to say she was
expecting a bundle from heaven.

1000
00:50:33,167 --> 00:50:37,400
But, of course, everybody knew
it was really a baby.

1001
00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:39,400
I wish we could
get back to them days.

1002
00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:42,133
What this world needs
is a little more of that class.

1003
00:50:42,133 --> 00:50:45,501
Well, here and before,
when we talk about Gloria's condition now,

1004
00:50:45,501 --> 00:50:47,501
we're just gonna say
she's expecting.

1005
00:50:47,501 --> 00:50:49,934
Or in a family way.

1006
00:50:49,934 --> 00:50:51,834
Or with child.

1007
00:50:51,834 --> 00:50:54,400
How do you feel
about "knocked up"?

1008
00:51:00,934 --> 00:51:03,868
Edith, read a magazine.

1009
00:51:03,868 --> 00:51:05,701
- All right.
- [grunts]

1010
00:51:12,567 --> 00:51:15,234
Maybe I shouldn't
look at this one, Archie.

1011
00:51:15,234 --> 00:51:18,434
Aw, read it, read it, read it.

1012
00:51:22,901 --> 00:51:24,701
[sighs]

1013
00:52:05,067 --> 00:52:07,100
Gimme that!

1014
00:52:08,167 --> 00:52:10,534
Turn around
and drop your pants.

1015
00:52:12,467 --> 00:52:14,501
Come on. You're a lady.

1016
00:52:14,501 --> 00:52:16,234
I'm a registered nurse.

1017
00:52:16,234 --> 00:52:19,300
Believe me,
yours won't be my first.

1018
00:52:19,300 --> 00:52:21,133
Drop 'em.

1019
00:52:21,133 --> 00:52:23,300
You mean all the way down?

1020
00:52:23,300 --> 00:52:25,968
Mr. Bunker, I have patients
waiting out there!

1021
00:52:25,968 --> 00:52:28,634
All right, all right.
Don't yell at me, huh?

1022
00:52:28,634 --> 00:52:30,200
Geez.

1023
00:52:41,100 --> 00:52:43,033
Now the shorts.

1024
00:52:53,567 --> 00:52:55,667
You know, uh...

1025
00:52:55,667 --> 00:52:57,667
I hate to say this,
but a nice girl

1026
00:52:57,667 --> 00:53:00,033
would shoot me
through the shorts.

1027
00:53:01,467 --> 00:53:03,734
The shorts.

1028
00:53:06,701 --> 00:53:08,901
Oh, geez.

1029
00:53:08,901 --> 00:53:11,167
I feel like a flasher.

1030
00:53:13,234 --> 00:53:16,367
Don't be embarrassed,
Mr. Bunker.

1031
00:53:16,367 --> 00:53:19,467
To me, it's just another
face in the crowd.

1032
00:53:19,467 --> 00:53:22,834
Agh! Oh! Mm!

1033
00:53:22,834 --> 00:53:24,701
[applause]

1034
00:53:32,868 --> 00:53:35,667
Cut it out, will you?
Tell her [blows raspberry]!

1035
00:53:37,934 --> 00:53:40,467
I will not.

1036
00:53:40,467 --> 00:53:43,901
All right.
Then you tell he that. You do that pretty good.

1037
00:53:43,901 --> 00:53:46,767
I won't go [blows raspberry]
to my mother.

1038
00:53:46,767 --> 00:53:48,601
Why the hell not?

1039
00:53:48,601 --> 00:53:51,234
You go [blows raspberry]
to your father every chance you get.

1040
00:53:51,234 --> 00:53:53,901
I only go [blows raspberry]
to you

1041
00:53:53,901 --> 00:53:55,434
when you go [blows raspberry]
to me.

1042
00:53:58,467 --> 00:54:01,701
Well, [blows raspberry] to
the whole damn bunch of youse!

1043
00:54:05,400 --> 00:54:07,300
[blows raspberry]

1044
00:54:08,701 --> 00:54:10,567
[applause]

1045
00:54:18,834 --> 00:54:21,767
A lot--
A lot has been made

1046
00:54:21,767 --> 00:54:24,300
of the decibel level
on <i>All in the Family.</i>

1047
00:54:24,300 --> 00:54:26,400
They shout too much.

1048
00:54:26,400 --> 00:54:28,367
The complaint is legitimate,

1049
00:54:28,367 --> 00:54:30,567
unless you happen
to come from a family

1050
00:54:30,567 --> 00:54:32,067
who lives at
the top of their lungs

1051
00:54:32,067 --> 00:54:34,100
and the ends of their nerves.

1052
00:54:34,100 --> 00:54:37,133
Those of you who do know
such a family might agree

1053
00:54:37,133 --> 00:54:40,701
that the unbridled passion
of the Bunkers and the Stivics

1054
00:54:40,701 --> 00:54:42,367
is more than just loud,

1055
00:54:42,367 --> 00:54:45,801
there's also a celebration
of life.

1056
00:54:45,801 --> 00:54:48,067
But don't let me
talk you into it.

1057
00:54:48,067 --> 00:54:51,567
That's just the way we feel.

1058
00:54:51,567 --> 00:54:55,133
Gloria-- Gloria,
just because I wanna show you my love,

1059
00:54:55,133 --> 00:54:57,767
that doesn't mean that
you have to go and get pregnant!

1060
00:54:57,767 --> 00:55:00,634
- What do you mean, me?
- Ow!

1061
00:55:00,634 --> 00:55:02,634
Gee, you think I can
get pregnant all by myself?

1062
00:55:02,634 --> 00:55:04,400
Ow!

1063
00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:07,601
I'm tired of being the one
that has to take all of the precautions.

1064
00:55:07,601 --> 00:55:10,934
- Ow!
- Why don't you do something about it for a change?

1065
00:55:10,934 --> 00:55:14,601
Because it doesn't work
if I take the pill!

1066
00:55:14,601 --> 00:55:16,767
There are other methods!

1067
00:55:16,767 --> 00:55:18,267
[choking]

1068
00:55:18,267 --> 00:55:20,300
Gloria, you know

1069
00:55:20,300 --> 00:55:23,033
that you hate male
contraceptives as much as I do!

1070
00:55:23,033 --> 00:55:26,000
Now, I know it's not fair
for the woman to take all the precautions!

1071
00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:27,534
But that's the way things are!

1072
00:55:27,534 --> 00:55:29,968
You were born with all the parts
that need protection!

1073
00:55:29,968 --> 00:55:34,601
Yeah, because you were born
with all the parts we need protection from!

1074
00:55:34,601 --> 00:55:36,767
Let go of me!

1075
00:55:36,767 --> 00:55:38,467
Ohh!

1076
00:55:38,467 --> 00:55:42,367
What the hell is going on here?

1077
00:55:42,367 --> 00:55:45,567
Now, I am sorry,

1078
00:55:45,567 --> 00:55:47,567
but I have had it.

1079
00:55:47,567 --> 00:55:51,100
I have no more remembering
to take the pill,

1080
00:55:51,100 --> 00:55:53,534
no IUDs, no nothing.

1081
00:55:53,534 --> 00:55:55,300
From now on,

1082
00:55:55,300 --> 00:55:57,200
it is up to you, buster.

1083
00:55:58,534 --> 00:56:00,434
Up to me?

1084
00:56:00,434 --> 00:56:01,868
Yeah.

1085
00:56:01,868 --> 00:56:03,534
If you're the one
that's so gung ho

1086
00:56:03,534 --> 00:56:05,734
about not bringing
any more children in this world,

1087
00:56:05,734 --> 00:56:07,534
then do something about it.

1088
00:56:07,534 --> 00:56:09,200
Get a vasectomy.

1089
00:56:09,200 --> 00:56:10,801
Ow!

1090
00:56:10,801 --> 00:56:14,100
Hello, Archie.
How was your day?

1091
00:56:19,133 --> 00:56:21,300
Does that answer your question?

1092
00:56:21,300 --> 00:56:23,434
Oh, yeah, I guess so.

1093
00:56:23,434 --> 00:56:26,367
Would it make you feel
any better if I told you

1094
00:56:26,367 --> 00:56:29,767
that today is Henry Mancini's
birthday?

1095
00:56:40,834 --> 00:56:45,400
Oh, hello, Gloria.
How was your day at work?

1096
00:56:45,400 --> 00:56:47,334
Lousy, Ma.
I'm telling you,

1097
00:56:47,334 --> 00:56:49,934
it's a city full of weirdoes
out there.

1098
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:53,000
Oh, Ma...

1099
00:56:53,000 --> 00:56:54,501
Ma...

1100
00:56:58,734 --> 00:57:02,067
To begin with,
it was sales day at the store.

1101
00:57:02,067 --> 00:57:04,334
Do you have any idea
what 50% off

1102
00:57:04,334 --> 00:57:05,868
does to nice, normal women?

1103
00:57:05,868 --> 00:57:08,300
It turns them
into raving lunatics.

1104
00:57:08,300 --> 00:57:11,734
Did you ever see a size 18 fatso
trying to zip herself into a size 10?

1105
00:57:13,667 --> 00:57:17,634
- No, but I remember--
- Ma! I'm talking, Ma.

1106
00:57:19,434 --> 00:57:21,000
Now, if that wasn't bad enough,

1107
00:57:21,000 --> 00:57:23,901
coming home on the bus
I felt like a sardine in a can.

1108
00:57:23,901 --> 00:57:27,367
And lucky me,
I got to be standing right next to a groper.

1109
00:57:27,367 --> 00:57:30,834
He made me feel like
a fresh loaf of Wonder Bread.

1110
00:57:32,300 --> 00:57:34,501
Oh, my.

1111
00:57:34,501 --> 00:57:36,701
I tell you, the only good thing
about getting on a bus nowadays

1112
00:57:36,701 --> 00:57:38,334
is knowing that
you're getting off again.

1113
00:57:38,334 --> 00:57:40,501
Hold it.
Hold it there, little girl.

1114
00:57:40,501 --> 00:57:43,267
I can hear them complaints
all the way up in the terlet.

1115
00:57:43,267 --> 00:57:45,801
Listen, you ain't be working
long enough to know,

1116
00:57:45,801 --> 00:57:48,234
but when you come home
at the end of the day,

1117
00:57:48,234 --> 00:57:51,868
you're supposed to leave
your troubles outside the door.

1118
00:57:53,667 --> 00:57:56,234
You come in with a cheerful word
and a smile.

1119
00:57:56,234 --> 00:57:59,234
Don't be bringing
your burdens in here and dumping them on your mother.

1120
00:57:59,234 --> 00:58:02,200
Will you get supper
on the table?

1121
00:58:03,334 --> 00:58:05,300
Give me that now.
Give me that now.

1122
00:58:05,300 --> 00:58:06,534
No.

1123
00:58:09,067 --> 00:58:11,934
Oh, ain't that lovely?

1124
00:58:11,934 --> 00:58:13,601
- Give me that.
- Oh, no!

1125
00:58:13,601 --> 00:58:16,000
- Give me-- Give me that!
- Oh, no! No, no!

1126
00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:18,534
- Oh, oh, oh!
- [yells]

1127
00:58:18,534 --> 00:58:21,901
Where did you learn
a low-class dodge like that?

1128
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:26,167
Oh, that's a high-class dodge.

1129
00:58:26,167 --> 00:58:28,133
Bette Davis done it.

1130
00:58:28,133 --> 00:58:30,567
And Joan Crawford
and Claudette Colbert,

1131
00:58:30,567 --> 00:58:33,434
Loretta Young--
they all done this.

1132
00:58:33,434 --> 00:58:35,901
[mimicking]
They all done this.

1133
00:58:35,901 --> 00:58:37,968
Well, Clark Gable
and Spencer Tracy

1134
00:58:37,968 --> 00:58:40,701
and Tyrone Power
and Archie Bunker-- we all done this here!

1135
00:58:40,701 --> 00:58:43,701
- Oh, no! [yelling]
- Gimme that! Give it!

1136
00:58:43,701 --> 00:58:45,467
- Give it! Give me that!
- No!

1137
00:58:45,467 --> 00:58:47,868
Edith!

1138
00:58:47,868 --> 00:58:49,767
Gimme that!

1139
00:58:49,767 --> 00:58:52,234
Come on now!
Come on now, Edith!

1140
00:58:52,234 --> 00:58:54,734
- Edith! Edith!
- Ohh. Ohh.

1141
00:58:54,734 --> 00:58:58,100
- I want it!
- No! I ain't giving to you.

1142
00:58:59,801 --> 00:59:03,267
Edith, I gotta have it!

1143
00:59:19,901 --> 00:59:21,567
You're an animal.

1144
00:59:24,901 --> 00:59:27,634
- Oh, inhale, exhale.
- [inhales, exhales]

1145
00:59:27,634 --> 00:59:29,334
Inhale. Swallow. Push.

1146
00:59:29,334 --> 00:59:31,334
- Here it is. Here it is.
- Two, three, four--

1147
00:59:31,334 --> 00:59:32,968
- The head is coming.
- The head is coming.

1148
00:59:32,968 --> 00:59:35,000
- Six, seven, eight.
- Take it nice and easy.

1149
00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:39,000
- [inhales]
- One, two, three, four, five,

1150
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:40,901
six, seven, eight.

1151
00:59:40,901 --> 00:59:43,000
- That-a-girl. That-a-girl.
- Okay. Okay.

1152
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:44,667
- Keep pushing.
- One, two, three--

1153
00:59:44,667 --> 00:59:47,467
- Like stepping on
the accelerator of a car. - ...four, five--

1154
00:59:47,467 --> 00:59:50,601
I don't drive.

1155
00:59:50,601 --> 00:59:52,601
Keep pushing.
Did you hear that?

1156
00:59:52,601 --> 00:59:55,934
You hear what she said?
She said she doesn't drive.

1157
00:59:55,934 --> 00:59:58,367
She's sitting here
panting and pushing, and she's making jokes!

1158
00:59:58,367 --> 01:00:00,334
Isn't she terrific?
She's terrific!

1159
01:00:00,334 --> 01:00:03,267
Terrific, honey! Just terrific!
Isn't she terrific! She's terrific!

1160
01:00:03,267 --> 01:00:04,934
Keep calm, Mr. Stivic.

1161
01:00:04,934 --> 01:00:06,868
We haven't lost a father yet.

1162
01:00:06,868 --> 01:00:08,367
Did you hear
what she said, honey?

1163
01:00:08,367 --> 01:00:10,534
We haven't lost a father yet!
Isn't she terrific?

1164
01:00:10,534 --> 01:00:13,400
- Everybody's terrific!
- [Doctor] Gloria, you're doing fine.

1165
01:00:13,400 --> 01:00:14,901
- Okay, honey.
- Fine.

1166
01:00:14,901 --> 01:00:17,534
Now stop pushing
and look at the mirror.

1167
01:00:17,534 --> 01:00:19,534
Just blow, honey.
Just blow. Don't push.

1168
01:00:19,534 --> 01:00:21,400
- Blow. Blow.
- Now the head is coming.

1169
01:00:21,400 --> 01:00:23,334
- Here's the head.
- Oh!

1170
01:00:23,334 --> 01:00:27,033
- Beautiful! Beautiful!
- Is it a boy or a girl?

1171
01:00:27,033 --> 01:00:29,501
I can't tell
from just the ears.

1172
01:00:29,501 --> 01:00:32,300
[Mike]
Let me hold your head, sweetie.

1173
01:00:32,300 --> 01:00:34,667
Gloria, Gloria,
just one more little push.

1174
01:00:34,667 --> 01:00:37,267
- One little push, honey.
One little push. - Okay.

1175
01:00:37,267 --> 01:00:39,767
- You have a son.
- We have a son!

1176
01:00:39,767 --> 01:00:41,534
- Aah!
- A healthy son.

1177
01:00:41,534 --> 01:00:43,234
We have a son!

1178
01:00:45,901 --> 01:00:48,400
We have a son!

1179
01:00:48,400 --> 01:00:50,467
We have a son!

1180
01:00:50,467 --> 01:00:52,334
[applause]

1181
01:01:02,000 --> 01:01:03,767
Mr. Archie Bunker?

1182
01:01:03,767 --> 01:01:05,033
Who is it, Edith?

1183
01:01:05,033 --> 01:01:06,501
Just a minute.

1184
01:01:06,501 --> 01:01:08,501
It sounds like the operator.

1185
01:01:08,501 --> 01:01:10,534
It's for Mr. Archie Bunker.

1186
01:01:13,501 --> 01:01:15,501
What is it,
a long-distance call?

1187
01:01:15,501 --> 01:01:17,133
That's what it sounds like.

1188
01:01:17,133 --> 01:01:18,667
[clearing throat]
Hello.

1189
01:01:18,667 --> 01:01:21,501
This is Archie Bunker here.
Yeah.

1190
01:01:21,501 --> 01:01:23,400
Huh?

1191
01:01:23,400 --> 01:01:27,100
Will I hold for Eddie Frazier?

1192
01:01:27,100 --> 01:01:29,234
Sure, I'll hold
for Eddie Frazier.

1193
01:01:29,234 --> 01:01:30,968
Hey, Edith, it's Eddie Frazier.

1194
01:01:30,968 --> 01:01:33,868
He must be calling me from
the Coast to find out about--

1195
01:01:33,868 --> 01:01:35,534
Hello? Yeah, I'm holding.

1196
01:01:35,534 --> 01:01:38,167
Here. Edith,
you take this thing. Keep the line alive, will you?

1197
01:01:38,167 --> 01:01:39,834
He's calling me from California.

1198
01:01:39,834 --> 01:01:42,334
A guy worth 35 million dollars!

1199
01:01:48,167 --> 01:01:50,634
[toilet flushes]

1200
01:02:01,501 --> 01:02:03,501
Just-- Yes.

1201
01:02:03,501 --> 01:02:05,701
Just a minute now.
He's right here.

1202
01:02:05,701 --> 01:02:08,767
Mr. Bunker had to answer
another call.

1203
01:02:10,167 --> 01:02:12,033
[applause]

1204
01:02:20,200 --> 01:02:22,767
The toilet flush.

1205
01:02:22,767 --> 01:02:25,133
I guess nothing we have done
on <i>All in the Family</i>

1206
01:02:25,133 --> 01:02:27,267
has offended some people more

1207
01:02:27,267 --> 01:02:30,267
than our occasional use
of bathroom humor.

1208
01:02:30,267 --> 01:02:32,267
We never did it to offend.

1209
01:02:32,267 --> 01:02:36,267
We did it because
we found it funny and dear.

1210
01:02:36,267 --> 01:02:39,400
The very first laugh that
a parent shares with a child

1211
01:02:39,400 --> 01:02:41,400
probably has something to do

1212
01:02:41,400 --> 01:02:43,467
with the child's
toilet training.

1213
01:02:43,467 --> 01:02:45,300
You remember.

1214
01:02:45,300 --> 01:02:47,300
So we have never understood why

1215
01:02:47,300 --> 01:02:49,200
such sweet shared moments

1216
01:02:49,200 --> 01:02:51,467
should lose
any of their sweetness

1217
01:02:51,467 --> 01:02:54,801
when we laugh at them
together as grown-ups.

1218
01:02:54,801 --> 01:02:56,300
There we go.

1219
01:02:56,300 --> 01:02:58,167
Now we get it off there.

1220
01:02:58,167 --> 01:03:00,033
Now we get it off...

1221
01:03:07,167 --> 01:03:09,601
It's okay. It's okay.

1222
01:03:09,601 --> 01:03:11,400
Only take a minute here.

1223
01:03:11,400 --> 01:03:13,200
There we go. Yeah.

1224
01:03:13,200 --> 01:03:15,534
Now we get it
all together here.

1225
01:03:15,534 --> 01:03:18,601
Now, I'll be right with you.
Now don't move.

1226
01:03:18,601 --> 01:03:20,000
[crying]

1227
01:03:20,000 --> 01:03:22,934
Okay, okay.
I ain't leaving the room.

1228
01:03:32,834 --> 01:03:35,300
Here we are.
This is gonna feel good.

1229
01:03:35,300 --> 01:03:37,501
We get it all wiped off.

1230
01:03:37,501 --> 01:03:40,000
Won't it-- Take it easy.
Take it easy there.

1231
01:03:40,000 --> 01:03:41,968
Getting it all wiped off.

1232
01:03:41,968 --> 01:03:44,400
Get it nice and clean there.

1233
01:03:44,400 --> 01:03:46,267
And, uh-- And then we, uh...

1234
01:03:46,267 --> 01:03:47,667
Aahh.

1235
01:03:48,968 --> 01:03:51,200
Yeah, we got a didey
coming for you now.

1236
01:03:51,200 --> 01:03:53,701
Yeah.
It's a nice clean one.

1237
01:03:53,701 --> 01:03:57,133
- [cries]
- Okay. Take it easy there.

1238
01:03:58,234 --> 01:03:59,234
Now...

1239
01:03:59,234 --> 01:04:01,100
[applause]

1240
01:04:03,133 --> 01:04:05,934
There you have it.

1241
01:04:09,501 --> 01:04:11,434
There you have it.
Our critics new

1242
01:04:11,434 --> 01:04:14,067
that <i>All in the Family</i> would
finally come to this one day--

1243
01:04:14,067 --> 01:04:15,534
frontal nudity.

1244
01:04:15,534 --> 01:04:17,634
- [laughter]
- Actually, when the network

1245
01:04:17,634 --> 01:04:20,367
first saw the script
that called for this scene,

1246
01:04:20,367 --> 01:04:22,367
they did come to us
with a problem.

1247
01:04:22,367 --> 01:04:24,934
They wanted to be sure that
when Archie diapered the baby,

1248
01:04:24,934 --> 01:04:27,701
we cut about here
so that his hands

1249
01:04:27,701 --> 01:04:30,467
and the infant's parts
were out of camera range.

1250
01:04:30,467 --> 01:04:32,467
We asked why,
and the individual

1251
01:04:32,467 --> 01:04:34,434
that came to laughed,
and he said,

1252
01:04:34,434 --> 01:04:37,434
"Come on. You know why.
You can't do that on television.

1253
01:04:37,434 --> 01:04:39,567
"There's gonna be a tremendous
knee-jerk reaction

1254
01:04:39,567 --> 01:04:41,734
in the middle of the country."

1255
01:04:41,734 --> 01:04:43,734
It's always
the middle of the country

1256
01:04:43,734 --> 01:04:46,100
that won't understand,
they say.

1257
01:04:46,100 --> 01:04:49,234
But the middle of the country
survived that shock,

1258
01:04:49,234 --> 01:04:52,434
and that one state
seceded from the Union.

1259
01:04:52,434 --> 01:04:53,567
[laughter]

1260
01:04:53,567 --> 01:04:56,234
All of this raises
an important question

1261
01:04:56,234 --> 01:04:58,400
for all of us, however.

1262
01:04:58,400 --> 01:05:00,801
Do we want television
to be free enough

1263
01:05:00,801 --> 01:05:04,000
to provoke and stimulate
and irritate

1264
01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:06,567
and even offend us sometimes?

1265
01:05:06,567 --> 01:05:08,300
Or do we want such freedom

1266
01:05:08,300 --> 01:05:10,667
declared a misuse
of the medium

1267
01:05:10,667 --> 01:05:12,901
and thereby
lose the opportunity

1268
01:05:12,901 --> 01:05:16,267
to share, either with delight
or dismay,

1269
01:05:16,267 --> 01:05:17,901
such real moments

1270
01:05:17,901 --> 01:05:19,834
as the one taking place
behind me?

1271
01:05:24,968 --> 01:05:26,267
Right there, boy.

1272
01:05:27,334 --> 01:05:28,901
[muttering]

1273
01:05:28,901 --> 01:05:30,734
I got a hell of a job here.

1274
01:05:30,734 --> 01:05:31,968
[baby crying]

1275
01:05:31,968 --> 01:05:33,434
Over there, okay?

1276
01:05:33,434 --> 01:05:35,100
That's okay.

1277
01:05:35,100 --> 01:05:37,234
I'll take care of you
in a minute here.

1278
01:05:38,868 --> 01:05:40,634
Get this down here.

1279
01:05:44,033 --> 01:05:47,801
Tape that over there
and over there.

1280
01:05:47,801 --> 01:05:49,801
You'll be real safe,
all right?

1281
01:05:49,801 --> 01:05:50,868
There.

1282
01:05:52,634 --> 01:05:54,701
Hang on there.

1283
01:05:54,701 --> 01:05:57,367
There you go. Okay, kid?

1284
01:06:07,367 --> 01:06:10,567
Before we bring out the stars
of <i>All In the Family,</i>

1285
01:06:10,567 --> 01:06:13,033
we'd like to close
as we began--

1286
01:06:13,033 --> 01:06:15,834
with one of our
very favorite scenes.

1287
01:06:15,834 --> 01:06:17,701
I love you, Ma.

1288
01:06:18,901 --> 01:06:21,300
I love you, Gloria.

1289
01:06:29,667 --> 01:06:30,601
Hey.

1290
01:06:36,534 --> 01:06:38,234
I love you, Daddy.

1291
01:06:39,501 --> 01:06:42,334
Uh, your daddy certainly
loves you, little girl.

1292
01:06:43,801 --> 01:06:45,167
[horn honks]

1293
01:06:45,167 --> 01:06:46,434
- No!
- Here.

1294
01:06:46,434 --> 01:06:48,801
The taxi meter's
running out there, you know?

1295
01:06:48,801 --> 01:06:52,033
You-- You better call them two
out of the kitchen, huh?

1296
01:06:52,033 --> 01:06:53,801
Yeah. Go do that.

1297
01:06:53,801 --> 01:06:57,133
M-Michael,
the cab driver's honking.

1298
01:06:57,133 --> 01:06:58,868
Okay, honey.

1299
01:07:01,567 --> 01:07:02,801
You want to take Joey?

1300
01:07:02,801 --> 01:07:04,267
- Joey!
- Come on, Joey.

1301
01:07:04,267 --> 01:07:06,501
- Goodbye, Joey.
- Say goodbye to Grandma.

1302
01:07:06,501 --> 01:07:08,634
- Here, say goodbye to Grandpa.
- So long, Joe.

1303
01:07:08,634 --> 01:07:10,534
- Put your coat on.
- So long, Joe.

1304
01:07:10,534 --> 01:07:11,868
- Goodbye.
- So long, Joe.

1305
01:07:11,868 --> 01:07:14,000
Remember Grandma loves you.

1306
01:07:21,033 --> 01:07:23,968
- I love you, Mike.
- I love you, Ma.

1307
01:07:34,601 --> 01:07:38,067
Hey, uh, the taxi meter's
running on there, you know.

1308
01:07:38,067 --> 01:07:40,734
It's got to be at least
a $15 ride out there.

1309
01:07:40,734 --> 01:07:42,601
You don't want to add
to it, you know.

1310
01:07:42,601 --> 01:07:43,701
No use in doing that, you know.

1311
01:07:43,701 --> 01:07:46,133
They charge you enough
for them rides.

1312
01:07:46,133 --> 01:07:47,667
Yeah, yeah.

1313
01:07:47,667 --> 01:07:50,501
Gloria! Gloria!

1314
01:07:52,000 --> 01:07:53,000
Goodbye.

1315
01:07:53,000 --> 01:07:54,534
Goodbye, Ma.

1316
01:07:54,534 --> 01:07:55,734
Goodbye, Joey.

1317
01:07:59,133 --> 01:08:00,834
- Goodbye, Mike.
- Bye, Ma.

1318
01:08:02,601 --> 01:08:03,567
I--

1319
01:08:15,067 --> 01:08:16,334
- Arch--
- Hey, listen,

1320
01:08:16,334 --> 01:08:17,968
have a good trip there, huh?

1321
01:08:17,968 --> 01:08:19,300
Have a good trip.

1322
01:08:19,300 --> 01:08:20,601
- Oh. Yeah.
- Yeah.

1323
01:08:26,400 --> 01:08:29,167
I know you always thought
I hated you--

1324
01:08:29,167 --> 01:08:30,400
[Archie]
Oh, shh.

1325
01:08:34,067 --> 01:08:35,501
But I love you.

1326
01:08:40,634 --> 01:08:45,701
Hey, uh, you be sure
and send postcards

1327
01:08:45,701 --> 01:08:47,067
every now and then, will you?

1328
01:08:47,067 --> 01:08:50,267
Because your mother-in-law,
she's--

1329
01:08:50,267 --> 01:08:51,534
she's gonna--

1330
01:08:53,133 --> 01:08:56,100
she's gonna want to know
that you're all right.

1331
01:08:57,467 --> 01:08:58,400
You know?

1332
01:09:03,567 --> 01:09:05,901
Well, it's a good sky.

1333
01:09:05,901 --> 01:09:08,434
Uh, take off
and have a good trip.

1334
01:09:08,434 --> 01:09:10,234
Yeah. Bye, Arch.

1335
01:09:25,601 --> 01:09:27,234
[taxi motor starts]

1336
01:09:59,400 --> 01:10:01,100
Ladies and gentlemen--

1337
01:10:02,767 --> 01:10:05,701
after eight and a half years
and 200 episodes,

1338
01:10:05,701 --> 01:10:07,267
Miss Sally Struthers.

1339
01:10:07,267 --> 01:10:09,767
- [applause]
- Six months pregnant.

1340
01:10:29,767 --> 01:10:31,334
Rob Reiner.

1341
01:10:41,467 --> 01:10:43,400
Miss Jean Stapleton.

1342
01:11:01,901 --> 01:11:04,100
And, ladies and gentlemen,

1343
01:11:04,100 --> 01:11:06,601
Mr. Carroll O'Connor!

1344
01:11:43,534 --> 01:11:46,334
<i>** ["Remembering You"]</i>

1345
01:11:46,334 --> 01:11:49,601
<i>And now let's join</i>
<i>the after-show party</i>

1346
01:11:49,601 --> 01:11:51,167
<i>in the Founders' Circle</i>

1347
01:11:51,167 --> 01:11:54,133
<i>at the Music Center's</i>
<i>Dorothy Chandler Pavillion.</i>

1348
01:11:54,133 --> 01:11:56,601
[no audible dialogue]

1349
01:12:45,334 --> 01:12:47,300
<i>Our thanks to the Los Angeles</i>
<i>Philharmonic</i>

1350
01:12:47,300 --> 01:12:48,901
<i>for their gracious</i>
<i>cooperation.</i>

1351
01:12:48,901 --> 01:12:51,634
<i>Production assistance</i>
<i>and financial consideration</i>

1352
01:12:51,634 --> 01:12:54,067
<i>provided by the Los Angeles</i>
<i>Bonaventure.</i>

1353
01:12:54,067 --> 01:12:56,100
<i>For the 200th episode</i>
<i>celebration</i>

1354
01:12:56,100 --> 01:12:57,501
<i>of</i> All In the Family,

1355
01:12:57,501 --> 01:12:59,133
<i>this is Dick Tufeld speaking.</i>

1356
01:12:59,133 --> 01:13:01,067
<i>Thank you for joining us.</i>

1357
01:13:01,067 --> 01:13:04,000
Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA

1358
01:13:04,050 --> 01:13:08,600
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0


